Tuesday, January 1, 2013

So long 2012 #HappyNewYear2013

Any regrets this year? Any proud moments? What did you think of 2012?


Another year over, a new one just begun. ~ John Lennon

It's been a full year for me. I've had a lot going on, some good, some bad. In the bad moments I wish I wasn't going through it, but everything we went through has brought about positive change. Even the not knowing has pushed us to do better and find ways to survive. I'm not holding back, this is all raw and real. Read on to hear my Roller Coaster ride of 2012.


My year in review


January 2012

My sweet baby girl turned 8 this year on January 6, 2012. 


Also in January, I signed up to be a papergirl. My husband was laid off in October 2011. He was turning in job applications left and right, but not getting anywhere. I wanted to help out. John (my husband) hopped on board with me. It was fun at first delivering papers, we even got the kids involved since we were homeschooling them. What a hands on opportunity. It was a little crazy working EARLY hours. We would go to bed around 9:00 PM, get a few hours of sleep and then sort papers about 4:00 AM. We had to have papers delivered BY 6:00 AM.
We would come home exhausted and sleep for a few more hours. It was fun while it lasted. We had the WORST route, and it took us forever to deliver. It really sucked in the snowy, icy weather. We were using our van and had some scary moments. In the end, it wasn't worth it and we quit after 2 weeks. But hey I tried!  Read all about it here: http://mormonsurrogate.blogspot.com/2012/01/papergirl-what-strange-turn-of-events.html

On FB 1/21/12
Ok Weather- you've got a few more hours and then you need to clear up. We have a lot of papers to deliver for Sunday morning!

Also in January, my husband went back to school. Yep, my hubby goes to college. As I mentioned, he was laid off last year and decided it was time for a change. He is going to school to be a Diesel Mechanic and I'm super proud of him. We are so grateful that he gets help from the VA since he was in the military. You can read a little about that here: http://mormonsurrogate.blogspot.com/2012/03/my-husband-goes-to-college.html

February 2012

I can't think of much going on in February. I believe we were still going through our Short Sale which was CRAZY! People were coming over in spurts and then we'd have some peace and quiet and then another spurt of people coming to look at our home. I think around this time we were starting to get offers on our home.

Here is what I had to say on Facebook in February-

(Oh yeah, I got my new Explorer in February, I was thinking it wasn't until March or April) 

2/7/12
Hello Beautiful! I traded up. (Traded in my 1995 Explorer for a 2003) 
Photo: Hello Beautiful! I traded up.

Photo: Hello Beautiful! I traded up.
Bye bye Bauer! Taking it back to it's maker. (Westland Ford)
Photo: Bye bye Bauer! Taking it back to it's maker. (Westland Ford)

Also on FB:
2/27/12 
Helping John with College is a lot different than high school. Wow! But I must admit it feels good to push yourself. It's funny though, we used to stay up late, cuz hey we could always sleep through class, right? Ha! I know I don't physically go with him, but helping him with these 2 online classes is crazy. I don't know how a married couple can both go to college at the same time. I couldn't do it.



March 2012

My son turned 15 March 4, 2012. 


Also in March, I finished and starting submitting a manuscript for another children's book. (non-surrogacy this time) lhttp://mormonsurrogate.blogspot.com/2012/03/what-lovely-feeling-working-on.html

On FB:
3/10/12
Lucky me- lunch with some awesome Utah surrogates.

3/12/12
Little black spider crawling on the dirty towel pile = me screaming. Who'd have thought? Although I didn't scream till I tried to flush him down the toilet and he fell off the towel.

April 2012

We're not going anywhere. We decided to put a stop to our short sale. We were bound and determined to stay in our home. http://mormonsurrogate.blogspot.com/2012/04/not-going-anywhere.html


On FB:
4/15/12
Just our luck- we all get ready and out the door on time (early) for church and the parking lot is empty.

My 8 year old gets baptized!

Photo





Also time for our annual Supercross adventure! 



May 2012

I want to have your baby! I start looking again as a surrogate for a family to match with. http://mormonsurrogate.blogspot.com/2012/05/i-want-to-have-your-baby.html

Me and my mom on Mother's Day



On FB:
5/7/12
Ugh- I do NOT want to go get milk tonight! :( And I don't think I've ever had so much to say in one day. It's like I drank a Rockstar and can't shut up. WTH?

5/8/12
My book went from 4.38 to 4.44 out of 5 stars! Woohoo! :)http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9887291-once-upon-a-surrogate

5/11/12
Johnny got a C in Humanities. Not bad considering we missed 2 assignments and it was the hardest class. Other than that he got 2 A's and a B! :>

5/17/12
Got my first rejection letter but also my first book order by mail. #Author (rejection on the new manuscript, book order on my already published book)

5/18/12
I can handle all sorts of pain, shots, surgery, etc. but I hate going to the dentist! Now I'm numb and ornery. :(

5/23/12
Have you ever made scrambled eggs in a cup? So easy your kids and even your hubby can do it! :)

Also 5/23/12
Listening to Rod Stewart Camouflage Cd. (on my mp3 player) So funny how certain songs remind you of certain times in your life and evoke feelings/memories. For me it's mainly Jr. High stuff.

June 2012

I was matched, and then I wasn't. Things were good in the beginning. I thought the IM (Intended Mom) was wonderful. http://mormonsurrogate.blogspot.com/2012/06/hopeful-match-surrogacy.html

However some things just didn't quite feel right. I started feeling like it was more of a business relationship and that we couldn't be friends. It was all about the surrogacy. I couldn't really get to know her. We'd have our issues, work through it, things would seem fine and then something else would come up. She nearly broke my heart when she let me go. (now I know it was for the best)
Shortly after that I was matched again, but that was weird as well and didn't work out.

Also in June, we had a fire VERY close to us.

On FB:

6/6/12
Don't you just love disrespectful teenagers

6/13/12
We better be watching Breaking Bad tonight, I'm having withdrawals...

6/16/12
Johnny noticed a fire in Eagle Mtn, called 911 and started trying to put it out with a shovel.

6/22/12
Yes the fire is out by us. We can see it from our front porch. Last night we drove around trying to get the best view thinking that would be somewhere in Saratoga Springs. When we got home, the best view was from our porch. From what we know, it's the Ranches and part of Saratoga Springs that is being evacuated. We should be fine. Last night we saw plenty of fire, this morning it was smoke that has spread across the mountain range. Pics to follow.... (I believe this was an additional fire, not the one hubby tried putting out)

6/22/12
One day I saw a bird flying back and forth on the security camera. I wondered if maybe it was building a nest somewhere nearby. Then I noticed maybe the same bird on another security camera flying back and forth. John went to investigate, and a little birdie was building a mud nest ON our security camera. He knocked the little bit that was there down... but the determined birdie built another one. This is the finished product and the birdie-

Hubby felt bad about knocking the nest down and ended up letting this one stay.

6/25/12
I was doing so well over the weekend, but now I'm feeling frustrated and hurt. (over surrogacy match that wasn't working out)

July 2012

Baby Birdies! 



Johnny's Birthday #35 7/20/12



On FB:
7/14/12
I got my kitchen clean and got a little mini workout and I may have a hot date tonight. I'm a happy girl! As a bonus my girls get to sleep over at their cousins again. :-)

7/20/12
I don't think this day could get better. First the orange juice in my cereal this morning. Then I got sick after lunch. Then I get my tongue stuck to a popsicle. Maybe Breaking Bad will make it all better.

7/24/12
S'mores and fireworks, yo!

Somewhere around this time I was matched again as a surrogate and it fell through again.

August 2012


I finally found my perfect match! We clicked right away and started talking a lot! I was so happy! I was cautiously optimistic and tried not to get too excited, but things were very smooth. We quickly built a relationship on trust and honesty. We checked in everyday and truly started getting to know each other. It was the personal relationship I was looking for, not business. I didn't want to jinx it, so I waited awhile before blogging about it.

Then- my family fell apart. (or so it felt) My son has been a handful since he was 3. He is now 15. (at the age of 7 he was diagnosed with ADHD, LD, Anxiety, Dysthymia, Depression and possibly Early Onset Bipolar)  The issues/behavior problems come and go in spurts. I thought things were steady and even good for awhile, but this past year he's been aggressive again. It doesn't help that him and his dad don't get along well and are still adjusting to more time with each other. (John was in the Navy for 10 years, now he's been out and then unemployed so he's around a lot more) They had gotten in a fight in June. Now another one. Something had to change! Jeremy our son, went to live with his Grandma. We put Jeremy back in counseling and John was already going to counseling for some form of PTSD. 

We have made sure that Jeremy knows he is still a part of this family and have involved him in all family activities. We also bring him home on weekends and holidays. We are over at his grandma's house at least once a week, so  that has been a pretty smooth transition. It's all a work in progress and it's had it's ups and downs. Somehow we're all working through it and becoming closer.

At a wedding the weekend before Jeremy moved to his Grandma's.

I thought for sure I would lose this wonderful match. Who would want a surrogate with a family "falling apart"? I gave them the opportunity to run, but they chose to stay. I was honest. She was sweet and concerned, but it didn't change their minds about me and our family. Aw!
Having such a positive person in my life has helped me to heal and push through. I'm so grateful to her and her husband. I've been able to work through things and have something wonderful to look forward to. (Besides a stronger, better family)

At the end of August the girls head back to school. They chose to go back to public school after 2 1/2 wonderful years of homeschooling.  Back to School We go (from homeschooling back to public)




I had to make the hard decision of whether or not to send Jeremy back to school. I had to figure it out quick. School was starting 2 weeks after he moved in with Grandma. We decided to give it a try and enrolled him in the local high school. It was rough at first and he had an awful time in Junior High. They have done some testing and are trying to work with him and his teachers. I am sad that I wasn't there for his first day of High School and I don't have pictures to share.

On FB:
8/13/12
Keep your fingers crossed and a few prayers wouldn't hurt... not gonna tell you because I don't want to jinx it but PLEASE let this work out!!! :)

8/24/12
Looks like this might actually happen, IPs coming to meet me in 3 weeks! :)

8/25/12
Oh my gosh, John is teaching Jeremy how to shave!

Missed it all, here they are all done shaving.
Photo: Missed it all, here they are all done shaving.

8/27/12
Jeremy started 10th grade this morning. We are both filled with anxiety. Wish him luck!

8/28/12
So cool that Tristan is taking ASL. She seems to be liking it and is retaining a lot. I was very impressed when she told me the pledge in sign language. I love that she shows us what she is learning.

September 2012

My birthday #35 9/10/12

































I feel safe to shout to the world about my awesome IPs. (Intended Parents) http://networkedblogs.com/C4Xrz

I get to meet my awesome IPs 9/15/12
Sorry no pictures to share. Maybe one day. Just picture them as awesome!!!
Okay, here are the beautiful flowers my IM brought me when they came to our house-



Anniversary # 15 9/20/12 (Fun and much needed getaway)















On FB:
9/10/12
Jessica made me Frosted Flakes and ice water for my birthday breakfast. ♥

9/11/12
I am so flipping excited to meet my potential IPs this weekend!!! 
:)

9/12/12
I feel super blessed! ♥

9/14/12
Loving the butterflies in my tummy. IPs are flying out tonight to meet me. #Surrogacy :)

9/15/12
They are even better then I imagined in person. Headed to Snowbird now with my IPs.

9/15/12
Not only was today freaking awesome, yesterday John was offered a job. They are even willing to work around his school schedule! :) We are both feeling on top of the world!

9/18/12
Still glowing over the wonderful weekend with IPS. Been working on Anniversary plans for this weekend. What an awesome month September is!

9/20/12
I'm running away this weekend...  (for our anniversary)

9/23/12
Someone slashed one of our tires while we were downtown. Guess we're getting new tires for our anniversary.
:(

October 2012

It's the month of Halloween and Jeremy is disappointed that we aren't doing something fun and Halloweenish EVERY day. We do however got to Frightmares a few times and Nightmare Express.

Jeremy LOVES costumes and has always been a huge Star Wars fan. He became a Lady Gaga fan this year. A huge part of his personality is Lady Gaga/Darth Vader. He loves October because it is more acceptable to dress up.

Photo



I blog about the medical screening coming up and the day I met my IPs. http://networkedblogs.com/DLkVV

I blog on my way to LA- http://networkedblogs.com/DNawW

And the whole experience- http://networkedblogs.com/DYl2I

On FB:

10/1/12
Rewind sentimental style... grateful that John took a chance on a "weird" girl 18 years ago and took her to Homecoming as a friend. Going to get massages tonight. Tried to for our wedding anniversary, but this works out too. 

Double anniversary today because I'm cool like that. Three years ago (10/10/09) my husband and I got sealed in the temple along with our lovely children. I called it a marriage extension/renewal. Two years ago (10/10/10) I released my first book, Once Upon a Surrogate: The Stork's Helpers.

10/19/12
Flying to LA on Monday for my medical screening.
Woofreakinghooyo! #Surrogacy

10/21/12
So excited for tomorrow, but nervous about flying alone.

10/21/12
Headed to bed a little early tonight. Don't want to be a zombie with my IPs tomorrow.

10/22/12
Uterus and ovaries look good, trial transfer went well. Lovely day in LA with IPs.

10/31/12
Psych Eval tomorrow!

Halloween Fun:





















Lady Gaga/PokerFace




















Gothic Vampire




















Darth Gaga (and what he wears everyday minus the mask)




















November 2012

On FB:
11/1/12
Hello November!
We are now on a fast track to 2013.

11/1/12
I believe I passed with flying colors! #psycheval #surrogacy 
Next step contracts: http://networkedblogs.com/EdOJQ

11/5/12
Already craving #ThanksgivingDinner!

11/6/12 Get your Vote on http://networkedblogs.com/Ep5sG

11/6/12
We voted!


11/6/12 More Surrogacy Progress- Next Steps: http://networkedblogs.com/EpNk8

11/8/12
Proud to be with my Veteran Hubby who still looks good in uniform! 

Photo: Proud to be with my Veteran Hubby who still looks good in uniform!

11/9/12
But.... I'm not ready for snow!

11/16/12 There's a surrogate in my backyard! http://networkedblogs.com/EPwce

11/22/12
My Thankful List- Happy Thanksgiving http://networkedblogs.com/F2IKW

11/25/12
I didn't expect to, but we did a little bit of Christmas shopping this weekend. Nothing crazy. We didn't volunteer to get trampled. (not worth it anymore) We shopped in the evening and it was quite pleasant.

December 2012

On FB:
12/11/12
As some of you know it's been a rough year for our son. He's back in counseling and I just got some test results back yesterday. He was diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety, Depression and possibly early onset bipolar at the age of 7/8. He will be 16 in March. We are now dismissing the bipolar and adding PDD/ASD. (Pervasive Developmental Disorder not otherwise specified/ Autism Spectrum Disorder) Anyone else have experience with this? I am not surprised, I just don't know much about it and have gotten used to the previous diagnosis. I am pretty sure we will be working on skills and behaviors in therapy. Lot's of emotions for this mom.

12/11/12
Peppermint ice cream with chocolate sauce.
:)

12/11/12
I know everyone in my life is here for a reason. Thank you for being part of my life! ♥

12/12/12
Happy Wednesday!
12/12/12 :)

12/13/12
Contract was finally sent to my lawyer to review.
Hooray for progress!

12/14/12
It's official. As of today I am the mom of 2 teenagers. Happy Birthday #13 to my sweet Tristan!


12/14/12
John just got home from an interview where he apparently kicked b*** because they like him and want him. Now we negotiate wages. Sounds like a great opportunity and they are working around school hours too! 

PS I think it's funny that my phone censored butt!


12/20/12
Had a great therapy session with Jeremy today. Then about 3 hours later he was fighting with me at Walmart over everything we had so calmly discussed in therapy. Why does he pick Walmart to do most of his fighting? We both ended up in tears and he ended back at Grandma's for the night. Hoping he can understand that I have feelings too and hope he can come back home for Christmas!!! *tears again*

12/22/12
Oh Christmas Tree John style!

12/22/12
Christmas is coming... 

12/22/12
All lit up at night, such a beautiful sight. I love how John can truly bring an idea to life.

12/24/12
Merry Christmas Eve! http://networkedblogs.com/GlFD8



Merry Christmas to all!

























12/25/12 (early morning)
Heading to bed feeling peace and blessings. Merry Christmas!

12/25/12
So full of love and good food.

And just like that, it's over. I think hibernation sounds pretty good about now.


12/28/12
Looking forward to some babymaking in 2013. Yes, you read that right! Still waiting on AF and contracts. I'm thinking it will be pushed to a February transfer.
~I'm not the mom. I'm just the stork. (my quote)

Also on 12/28/12 I take hubby to ER for what seems to be Whooping Cough.



I think that about wraps it up. I tried to condense as much as possible while still making it entertaining and including big events.

Goodbye 2012. Hello 2013!
























2 comments:

  1. I just stumbled across your blog, and we have a lot in common! I'm a surro-in-waiting (contract was sent to my atty for review on Dec 14, just waiting for finalization now before a likely March transfer), and I also am a Mormon in Utah.. near Draper to be exact. :) Looking forward to following your journey!

    ReplyDelete
  2. So glad you stumbled by! Always nice to find someone with something in common. I grew up in Sandy and
    spend a good amount of time near Draper. So cool.
    Good luck with everything. I'd love to hear how things are going.

    :)

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your comments! I'll try to return the favor.