Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Hopeful match (surrogacy)

*Update- it's a match! Things are going well and moving forward. Please send your positive thoughts and wishes our way as we get through the early stages and set our sights on some new-fashioned baby making.

As most of you know, I am looking to be a surrogate again. I've been looking off and on for over a year now. I was matched last year, but it didn't work out. Not every match is a good match or the perfect match. You are committing to at least a year together, you don't want to settle. If it doesn't feel 100% great in the beginning, how will it feel while you're pregnant and then after the birth?

Some people think that it's just as simple as an Intended Parent (IP) looking for a Surrogate and a Surrogate looking for an Intended Parent. Not so simple.

Here's what I think:


  • Personalities should be compatible
  • You should agree on issues that could arise
  • Both sides should feel good about moving forward
  • You should agree or at least have some sort of idea of what you want as far as a relationship during and after
That is just a small list off the top of my head.

I know some awesome agencies, but they just haven't been able to match me, so I recently branched out on my own. Every now and then people contact me looking for surrogates. One IM (Intended Mom) contacted me about 2 months ago and I absolutely fell in love with her. She was new to it all and taking her time and in the end she found someone else. Nothing personal, it's just how it goes. (lot's of things factor in)

In the meantime, I put up a few ads on the surrogacy sites I belong to. I got a response here and there and I also responded to some Intended Parent's ads. One IM contacted me and we chatted and even talked on the phone. I really liked her and she seemed to like me. Then all of a sudden I had 4 couples interested in me at the same time.

Do you know how hard it is to be a surrogate and not be able to help all the wonderful IP's out there? Heartbreaking! I was hoping that this one IM and I would match, but the others sounded good as well if it didn't. (But I was really hoping for this particular IM) I figured if I couldn't match with them, I'd love to help them find someone else, which I've done before.

These other IM's have since been matched and,  moving forward except for one that doesn't feel like quite the right fit for me. Another IM might have been a good match but is hoping for someone closer to her.

Let me tell you that finding a match, can be like dating. You might find someone that you really like, but they may not feel the same about you. And of course the other way around. Feelings can get hurt. You don't want to string anyone along, you don't want to rush things, but you also don't want to sit and wait forever not knowing what's going on.

IM and I have kept talking and it seems that things are going good and even possibly moving forward. I've never really thought of what my perfect IM would be, and that's really hard to say because I've been blessed to work (I hate that term) with 3 AWESOME IM's. They were each wonderful in their own way. Well, it seems that I've found another awesome IM and for me, for this time around, I would say she is my ideal IM. That does not mean that the other IM's were not, they were too. They've all treated me wonderfully and I feel that I have a great relationship with them still.

So, keep your fingers crossed for me. I am beyond excited, and hope that this is it.

4 comments:

  1. good luck! i am still searching for my perfect match too!

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  2. Thanks. We are moving forward! :) Best of luck to you.

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  3. Wow. I have to say, that was fascinating. I've never really thought about surrogacy before, especially from the POV of a surrogate mom looking for a match. Good luck! I hope this one works out for you.

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    1. Thank you for your comment! :) So far so good.

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Thank you for your comments! I'll try to return the favor.