It's Beta Day Hip Hip Hooray! (5/21/13) Journey #4

*I apologize that I did not get this finished and posted on actual beta day. (yesterday) In my defense it was a long day and I was gone and driving half the day and also pretty tired.
So this starts out with my pondering in the morning before the beta and then what we found out.
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I am starting to think that I'm not the kind of girl that has high numbers. My beta was 60 with my first surrogacy- singleton and about 324 with the twins. So I have no idea what to expect, but hoping for 100.

If you're part of the surrogacy/IVF world, you know most of us are POAS (peeing on a stick) addicts. In other words, we test at home.

After the embryo transfer you enter what is called the 2ww- The 2 week window, or 2 week wait, or the dreaded 2ww. It can be torture waiting and waiting and wondering. Some of us pee to pass the time.

For me it has been helpful to know what's going on. I do better when I know what's going on. It doesn't always mean anything though because anything can change at any time. Last time I tested at home and got positives, but they were on the light side. It ended up being a chemical pregnancy.

It's not like when I got pregnant with my own kids. I only tested at home once with my own pregnancies and then would do a follow up blood test at the nearby lab to confirm. Easy peasy. With IVF and someone else's genetics, you never know what will happen. You could be pregnant one day and not the next. That's why it's so encouraging to see the lines keep popping up and getting darker each time. That's usually a good sign! Either way, I'm always nervous to get too excited at first, even when I see the positive results.

I wasn't 100% sure if I was going to test this time. It sucks to get excited and then to lose the pregnancy. However, with my 3rd couple we had a failed transfer and I didn't get any positives, so it was nice to be prepared that way as well.

Here are my tests this time around:

(this is just what I started with before the transfer... the collection grew)

I am only posting the ones you can see... not every single test. So be grateful!  

:)

You can always skip ahead if you're not interested...

I know you're not supposed to trust blue dyes (and yes it's light) but hubby found these on sale for me at Walgreens and I couldn't tell him no. I loved that he had accepted and possibly even encouraged my addiction.

The digitals are always nice to see. Do you notice the pink lines getting darker?

I believe these were 7 days also. Aren't they cute? Pink and purple. Only oops, the pink one is an ovulation test. It looks like there's a line on the pink one, but it's a shadow. LOL.

Getting better all the time!

Oh my gosh! Look at those lines!!!

These cheap tests are 88 cents at Walmart. They're great to get it out of your system (literally, ha ha) but for some people (like me) the lines don't get very dark. They did however get dark(er).

I started getting excited!  

It's a good thing the Dollar Tree test provided this caution!

This one gave me butterflies with how fast it showed up and how dark! Great test the night before the beta.

The morning of the beta. Not bad for the cheap tests!

Just hanging out, waiting for results after getting my blood drawn.

I was hoping that Amazing Grace would call to tell me the news.

And then later Amazing Grace called with our number and I was super happy!

 (5/21/13 11dp3/5dt =62)

The clinic was happy and thought 62 was a good number. We're pregnant!

We have gotten over the first hurdle- the two-week window and now we know that we have a good number that indicates a pregnancy. Next step is for the number to double and then in about three weeks we should be doing an ultrasound to look for a heartbeat. And then we pray that we have a lovely uneventful pregnancy for the next 9 months.

Itchy bruised, knotty, sometimes sore bum/hips (from the progesterone), but a small price to pay and well worth it. 

Oh and sometimes you prick your finger..

I have been extra tired the past week. I could easily take 2-3 naps a day. I wonder if that means anything. Maybe it's just my body doing everything it can to protect the embryos and make them nice and comfortable and stress free.

I know I was super tired with the twins, but I don't remember if it was this early. Maybe I'm just getting old.
I also started feeling pretty nauseous today. Hmmm...

Please please let the numbers continue to rise and let us incubate a healthy baby or 2 or 3...

I go back tomorrow and the number should be around 120.

*Update- 2nd beta was 140! Woohoo, we're pregnant!

The Truth about Surrogacy & Beta Update

The truth about surrogacy-

It's not easy! It's not all fun and games. You need to know all the possibilities before you get into it.

You may go through things that you've never been through before or that you never even realized were possible. Be prepared for the good and the bad.

There may be hard choices to make. What you may go through is nothing compared to what the Intended Parents have been through and go through.

It can still be very rewarding. Do your research, talk to other surrogates.

Even though there are some hard things we might go through, it's usually not like the horror stories that the news, tv and movies show. Those surrogates were uninformed or were doing it for the wrong reasons or trusted a crappy agency.  Or they had issues and shouldn't have been a surrogate.

I head things all the time about surrogacy in the news. Unfortunately they rarely focus on the sweet, heart warming stories that is what makes surrogacy so beautiful. They often leave out important facts. There us usually so much more to the story.

I've had many wonderful adventures in surrogacy. I've had a few rough times and right now is one of them. However, I know it doesn't always work the first time and I know it's not always easy.
 
Beta update-
Beta went from 53.5 to 45 to 42. Dr. called yesterday to say it's a chemical pregnancy and to stop meds. I'm hoping the next step is to try again.

It took two times to get pregnant with the twins.

I feel bad because we all got excited over all the positive pregnancy tests.

Beta and a bad day yesterday #surrogacy #nonsurrogacy #4journey

It started off bad. I hate days like that.

I had an appointment at the local clinic at 10:45 for my Beta. (pregnancy blood draw) I was running about 10 minutes late. I hate that too.

I go to check in and the clinic tells me they have not received the orders yet for the lab work. I don't understand why no one communicates with me before the day of, not even morning of. It would have been nice to know and this isn't the first time there's been a miscommunication or non-communication between the clinics.

There I was ready to find out if I was pregnant or not. I had to call the CA clinic and have them fax the orders. I was put on hold and it took awhile. They said they would fax it right away. I waited another 10-15 minutes. Blood was drawn and I knew it would be early evening when I heard back.

Not the worst situation, but stressful. It wasn't the first time the clinic almost had me in tears because something wasn't going right.

(later I found out that the other clinic HAD sent it, but they don't think the local clinic gets their faxes for some reason)

I've had a rough week. My son has been in the adolescent psychiatric unit since Saturday night. (Today is Wednesday for those of you reading this in the future) http://mormonsurrogate.blogspot.com/2013/03/not-birthday-party-we-were-expecting.html

I had an appointment to visit with one of the therapists and it takes a good hour to get there. I still had time, but my time was running shorter.

I've been having issues with my phone which is no fun, so I stopped to see what could be done. I was feeling off and anxious and frustrated and it wasn't fun waiting around for 20 minutes to be helped. They could reset my phone or order a new one under warranty, but I had pictures, etc. I wanted to get off first.

Okay, so on to the next thing. I had some time to kill before my appointment with my son's therapist at the hospital. I needed to eat, it would take me 30 minutes to get home and then I'd have to pretty much turn around and leave.

I considered meeting my husband for a quick lunch, but decided instead to grab lunch and take it up to my son.

Yay, I was being adventurous and thoughtful all on my own. I didn't have a lot of time, but enough to have a quick lunch and visit.

About 40 minutes later I pulled into a Wendy's close to the hospital. I would just order 2 quick chicken nugget kids meals.

HA! It was lunch time and there were 5 people ahead of me and it sounded like one of the orders was wrong and needed to be fixed. After realizing I was wasting time, I decided to try the drive through. It's usually quicker right?

I drove around the corner and there were a few cars in line. I decided I didn't want to risk missing visiting hours... so I went to back up. And of course there was a car behind me who didn't get the hint that I was trying to back up. I was wedged in, stuck. Sure I should have just backed up anyway... plowed him over, whatever. At this point I had anxiety and I kind of froze. I tried to see if I could get out any other way and I was stuck. Okay, so at least I can get food and drop it off. I may still make it in time, even if it's 10 minutes before visiting hours are over.

I got the food fairly quickly and was on my way. My husband has driven us every other time we've been to the hospital. I was pretty sure I knew where I was going. But I somehow was at an intersection and felt like I should have turned already. I was looking for the street and never saw it. I felt lost and panicked. I took a breath, turned right and figured I'd pull over and ask my handy dandy GPS for help. However I seemed to find a back way and there it was.  PHEW!

I pull in the parking lot and there is NOWHERE to park! It's a pretty small lot. Okay, so I will just drive out and back in and look again. As I go out, someone is coming in and at one point it's a nice, narrow, tight squeeze. Great, this guy probably thinks I'm an idiot. Is it a one way/enter only or what? Didn't seem to be. Ugh!

I pull over by a snow bank and just breathe for a minute. I then decide to try the back of the building, but it said STAFF parking. Okay, let's try again... I circle around and Hallelujah a van was leaving.

Okay, I'm parked and my mother in law had tried to call. She was coming to the appointment as well and wanted to know if I wanted to ride together. I called her back and broke down in tears as I told her I was already there and having a bad day.

I grab the food and I'm ready to visit my son even if they tell me no. For some reason, 2 kids meals filled up 4 bags with Frosty's, etc. So I'm carrying 4 bags, a birthday card for my son and his drink and my purse. (his birthday was Tuesday)

I drop the birthday card. I set everything on the ground and resituate. I am in tears.

Of course there's someone walking by me as I go in, of course there's someone on the elevator. She makes a comment about making the bags easier to carry. I tell her, yeah it's been one of those days. She says, I think everyone has felt like that today, must be something in the air.

I get to my son's floor and go to buzz in. No one answers, but someone else is headed in and lets me through. It takes a minute for me to check in and I'm still trying to juggle everything. They get my son and there's not a visiting room available... so we sit in the main area with other people. Not what I wanted. After a  few minutes I ask about a room and someone finds us one.

I had a nice visit with my son, Jeremy. It was nice to be just the two of us. He was glad I came and thankful for the food. He is a super picky eater. He likes peanut butter but not jelly and had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. He spilled the jelly on his favorite shirt and was bummed.

All was good. Visiting hours should have been over, but no one said anything. Jeremy is doing better and was calm and happy. (and after awhile I was too) After an hour his grandma arrived and we met with the therapist. He left for awhile and when he came back he was kind of out of it and confused and sedated. They are still adjusting his meds.

It was time to head home. I was tired and had a nasty headache. I wanted to lay down and rest. A few people had called or tried to text about Jeremy. I made a few phone calls.

I wasn't worried about the test result from the clinic. I am usually anxious to know for sure. I had tested and gotten plenty of positive results at home. But that doesn't always mean anything. With IVF/Surrogacy, anything could happen. Anything could change. I felt calm about it though. I was not stressed about that at all.

I took a nap and when I woke up it was 7:30. I was a little concerned that I hadn't heard from the clinic or my IM by then. My phone decided to restart itself and when it did there were e-mails from my IM from earlier in the day asking how I was doing. Then I noticed an e-mail from the clinic.

I didn't feel good about them e-mailing instead of calling me and I was wondering why I hadn't heard from my IM yet.

The beta results were 53. The clinic was hoping for 100 at that point, but they weren't too concerned. I will go back tomorrow and hopefully the number will be well over 100. Even though they said they weren't worried, I couldn't help but feel like there could be some concern.

My first beta with my first surrogacy was 60. I don't remember the clinic wanting it to be a certain number. I just remember them wanting it to keep going up and it doubled in 48 hours which was great. My beta with the twins was 324, but numbers don't always mean anything other than pregnant or not.

I called my IM to see how she was doing and to see if she had heard from the clinic.
She hadn't had a great day either and was also frustrated that it took awhile to hear from the clinic. She wasn't sure if we should be concerned or not.

I had heard other surrogates having lower betas and going on to have successful pregnancies. I felt good about all our positive home pregnancy tests so IM and I decided not to stress.

Also, I've been having plenty of pregnancy symptoms... I've been tired, nauseous and hormonal the past week.

I was hoping for a number around 77, but I think 53 is a good start. IM said the clinic told her 53.5, so even better!

Please send prayers, good luck, whatever you've got that tomorrow's numbers are great and that they continue to climb!

And thank you if you made it this far. I know that was a lot.