Meet the parents, and friends and relatives (journey #5)

Wow, what an amazing weekend!

My IPs flew my husband and I to their hometown to meet IF, Big Brother, friends and relatives. We had already met IM and I was excited to see her again and meet the rest of the gang.

Lovely Rita (IM) picked us up from the airport with Hey Jude in the backseat. He kept saying hurry up Jill and John, let's go while we were still inside waiting for our luggage. He was a little shy at first with us though. 

Driving through their neighborhood was amazing. We saw some of the neatest houses. Their house was great too. I liked so many things about it inside and out. 

I finally got to meet Sgt. Pepper. He came down the stairs and straight to me. He even pushed aside a friend to hug me first. I believe at that point he told me they weren't going to let me leave, that I wasn't going anywhere.  And then he touched my belly. He jokingly said, I don't have to ask, right? And I said, nope!

:-)

I believe he then asked John, my husband if it was okay. Lol

They had some close friends over for dinner including the surrogacy counselor who helped facilitate things on their end and an awesome actor who had twins through surrogacy. (Not NPH)  Everyone was dressed up, so I went upstairs to put on my dress that I had brought "just in case".

Talking intently about something, must be surrogacy. Sgt. Pepper (IF) is to my right.

With the surrogacy counselor.

We ate Indian food which was a new experience for John and I. One of Lovely Rita's friends asked if she could feel my belly and I said of course. Everyone there was so nice and welcoming.

Cool fertility goddess IM had on their table.

After dinner and I believe after ice cream, we were chatting and baby was moving as Lovely Rita was talking, so I went to sit by her so she could feel baby move. It took a bit, but eventually she could feel her.

I brought the stork I had bought for IM. I originally was going to give it to her at Baby CeCe's birth, but I felt I should bring it now for her to put in baby's room. She loved it and eventually Hey Jude saw it and became interested in it. He ended up taking it to bed with him. 

Lovely Rita asked if I had seen my daughter Jessica's picture on the fridge. She had drawn her a stork when we mailed the ultrasound pictures to them. So sweet that it was on their fridge.

We stayed the first night in a hotel nearby. When we checked into the hotel right before bed, we had gifts waiting for us- a hoodie/jacket for me and a hat for John. I could actually use a jacket that fits right now and it fits great, plus it's cute!

Doesn't Lovely Rita have lovely handwriting?

We ate breakfast at a lovely bakery across the street from the hotel and then Lovely Rita picked us up and took us back to their house.

When Hey Jude woke up that morning he asked where we were. So sweet.

Back at their house, I got introduced to another awesome friend.

Lovely Rita and I

After awhile, we were headed out on a 3 hour drive to Lady Madonna's house (Lovely Rita's mom). It was great to talk and chat on the way.

We stopped to get pedicures and at that point I got to meet Lady Madonna. She took me to get a sandwich while Lovely Rita got started on her pedicure. Soon, it was my turn. I hadn't decided what color of polish I was going to do. When I saw the color Lovely Rita brought, I decided we should match. She said she'd be honored. I got to sit in a massage chair which was nice. My feet are sensitive and at some points, it tickled.

Then, we were off to Lady Madonna's house for dinner and to stay the night. What a beautiful house! We got to check out where we'd be sleeping. Lovely Rita told us we'd have some personal space in the basement with our own bedroom and bathroom. She didn't mention the theater room!
Oh my gosh! Their basement was amazing! It was pretty much everything I want to do to our basement, only on a much larger scale. 

Dinner was lovely and yummy and it was great chatting with more family. Lovely Rita's dad is awesome too. We'll call him Dr. Maxwell.

I have interacted with Lady Madonna since the beginning of our journey and already knew she was great. It was nice to finally meet her.

We also met Lovely Rita's brother whose birthday is just a day after mine. There are so many birthday coincidences (and other coincidences) between our families that I wouldn't be surprised if Baby shared a birthday with someone. She could easily share a birthday with my daughter, my twin uncles, my grandma or even Hey Jude.

We went for a ride in this awesome vehicle, the Jeepster.

Who can turn down ice cream? Then we rented a movie to watch in the theater room. John fell asleep early on and then I fell asleep and he woke up and finished the movie.

When I woke up on Sunday morning, Baby CeCe was moving and I just took some time to take it all in. I wanted to stay in the moment of it all.

Then we got up and went to brunch at Lovely Rita's aunts' house. We got to meet more family and eat more good food. John was loving the country atmosphere! Again, everyone was friendly and welcoming.

Lady Madonna is to Lovely Rita's right and then to her right is LR's brother. Dr. Maxwell is to the left on the front row. We have 2 aunties in the pic, one next to my husband, left top row, and one in the bottom middle. And then a cousin to the far left and nieces on the bottom row. You should know everybody else by now.

:-)

I absolutely love this picture!

My husband John with Hey Jude. 

Next stop, was back to Lady Madonna's for a quick break.

I got to sit down with Lovely Rita and have some belly time together. Sgt. Pepper joined us. They both got to feel baby move. So did Lady Madonna. I got to meet more family.

:-)

Finally, Hey Jude sat on my lap and cuddled with me and baby sister. Yay! I got lots of loving in. Him and dad talked to her and dad kissed her through my belly, but big brother wasn't too sure about that.

I love his smile here.

We needed to get going. Sgt. Pepper was staying behind with Hey Jude, so it was time to say goodbye to them. I got a hug from them both. I even got an extra hug from Sgt. Pepper as he got a little choked up and thanked me. I can't even begin to explain the love I have for this family and I got choked up later as I told John and our kids.

We were running out of time and needed to stop for a quick visit to Lovely Rita's grandma. I decided she needed a nickname too. Lady Madonna suggested Eleanor Rigby- perfect.

We needed to eat before heading to the airport. Since we don't have a sit down Pizza Hut in Utah anymore, we thought that would be pretty cool. 

An hour later we were at the airport. John didn't have a seat and needed to check in with an agent. Anxiety was setting in. We were running behind and might not get to sit together or even get on the plane. We checked in and they had put us in the same row, but not next to each other. Luckily, someone offered to switch. 

Our next flight home was delayed getting luggage on. Ugh!

And then somehow our luggage didn't make it to SLC.

It finally arrived the next night.

We had a blast! Such an awesome weekend. I am so grateful to be a part of this journey. I will treasure these memories forever!

Back from LA in a day Medical Screening (surrogacy #4 journal entry) #surrogacy

I flew in and out to L.A. Monday (10/22/2012) and blogged all about my lovely experience at the airport. (http://mormonsurrogate.blogspot.com/2012/10/at-airport.html)

This is what happened once I was on the plane and the rest of the day journal entry style (I actually wrote it in a notebook on the plane):

10/22/12

I am headed back to Salt Lake City from my day trip to Los Angeles. 

I sat by a lovely lady on my way to LA. She was friendly, in fact I had a middle seat and she offered up her window seat. She asked what I was doing in LA, anything fun? I told her "Yeah, I'm a surrogate and I'm on my way to lunch and a medical appointment with my Intended Parents" She thought that was so neat. You never know how a stranger is going to react when you tell them you are a surrogate. It was so nice that she was so sweet, positive and supportive.

She kept asking questions, which I thought was great. She wasn't intrusive about it at all. She just asked every now and then in a curious, respectful way.  She asked if I was okay talking to people about it and I said, "Well, yes, I actually have a blog and wrote a book about it." She was impressed and asked me the name of my blog and then asked some questions about my book. I realized I had a copy with me (I was taking a copy to the fertility doctor) so I pulled it out to show her.

I beamed with pride as she flipped through and read each and every page. She even laughed appropriately at a few parts. She thought I did a good job. I was very happy that she liked it.

I love sitting by friendly people on the airplane. She was a joy to sit by and she had a lovely southern accent.

The Intended Father/IF (I need to come up with a nickname for him) picked me up at the curb when we landed. We chatted comfortably. We both drive the same kind of SUV and I thought that was cool. We were on our way to meet Amazing Grace (Intended Mom) for lunch. Amazing Grace had asked me earlier if I had any cravings for lunch. I couldn't think of any at the time, plus she had mentioned lunch by the beach so I figured whatever they had in mind would be lovely.

Sometime before I landed, I decided sushi sounded good, knowing that they both like sushi. IF mentioned that IM was wondering what I was in the mood for. He said they were thinking of a place with an ocean view. I told him, actually sushi sounds good, but whatever you have planned is fine, it's not every day I get an ocean view.

The place they had in mind ended up not working out, so we were on our way to sushi. We got there a few minutes before IM.

IM came in and I could see in her face how genuinely excited she was to see me and to be taking this next step. (I believe she was glowing) The restaurant was lovely. It was all good, even the ice water with a slice of lemon. I ordered a Bento Box with a California Roll and Shrimp & Vegetable Tempura. It was so nice to enjoy spending time with them and chatting and eating yummy food. IF had to go back to work, so he said his goodbyes.

It was 2:00. Time for me to empty my bladder and then fill it back up with 16 ounces of water so I had a full bladder for the sonogram.

IM was sweet enough to bring me a bottle of water. She showed me around her town and even pointed out their adorable home. Then we headed to our appointment.

I had to fill out some paperwork in the waiting room and IM and I sat and chatted. I needed to write down when my last period was and I couldn't quite remember which day. I had been so organized, I wrote it down on my calendar when I started, but hey my calendar was at home on my wall. I knew I could figure out the day from one of the e-mails I sent IM, but there was a lot to sort through. (we're awesome like that)
IM and I each had our phones out sifting through e-mails and IM came to the rescue finding the exact date. Hooray! After about 15 minutes or so the Dr. called us back.We went to his office where I got to meet him for the first time. (He was an older, friendly gentleman)

He asked if I had been a surrogate before and I told him about my previous experiences. I then handed him a copy of my book. He was impressed when he realized that I had written it. IM assured him that it was a good book. At some point and time he must have read it, because he told Amazing Grace how wonderful it was.

There was a little mix up with our appointment and what exactly we were doing that day. In fact I was told to leave a urine sample which confused us because I was told to empty my bladder and then fill it back up for the ultrasound. IM and I were both a bit stressed by this, since I needed to catch a plane back home soon and I was there to get as much done as possible. The Dr. was cool and said, "Let's just do it all today."

I was taken back into an exam room and told I would be fully undressing. I got to wear a very flattering paper vest that opened in front and a paper sheet. The nurse (?) came in and asked if it was okay for Amazing Grace to come in. Of course! I mean, come on, we're in this together and soon enough I'll be birthing her babies and be all sorts of exposed. If I remember correctly all my previous IM's were in the exam room with me for the medical screening/ uterus sonogram. I was only embarrassed that I did not look my best. All my flaws were exposed.

The Dr. did an ultrasound/sonogram of my uterus and ovaries. I asked him if it helped to know that I have a tilted uterus. (most doctors say, "I can see that." This Dr. said it actually looked pretty straight. Hmmm, that's interesting. He said everything looked good. He then performed a trial transfer and inserted some saline through a catheter into my uterus. He made a comment that I should be a surrogate!  Ha ha. I replied, "Sounds good!".

I finally got to empty my bladder and leave a urine sample. No problem there. I was later told it was for a drug test. (Oh crap! Just kidding!) All understandable, they need to weed out the crack whores  heads. They also took my blood to test for STD's. My blood pressure was checked and was a little on the high side. But the nurse figured it was from her stressing me out. (I guess over the mix up) No big deal.

IM and I had some paperwork to look over and sign. So exciting. We talked to the Dr. about protocols and the embryo transfer. Since it will be a frozen transfer, I may get to skip shots and take suppositories instead. I don't really have a preference. Sure, it would be nice not to have to do the shots, but it's kind of part of the whole experience. (although it can be a real pain sometimes and you run out of spots to stick yourself)

I will start prenatal vitamins soon and then birth control once I start my period (after all the other steps are done, legal- contracts and validation and psychological evaluation)

The Dr. told Amazing Grace more than once that she had found a great surrogate. She agreed and was happy to hear that from a medical standpoint. He also told her that he would help spread the word about my book. I felt so loved! That meant the world to me. (sometimes I am hesitant to put myself out there for fear of rejection. Here I had written a book about something that was within his expertise, something he knew and understood  far more than I did, and yet he thought I did a good job! I am glad I felt comfortable sharing it with him)

Because of the mix up, the appointment took a little longer than expected. It was now about 4:40 PM and my flight back home was 5:55 from LAX. I wasn't sure how traffic would be or how crowded the airport would be. I know it's a BIG airport! Amazing Grace got me there by 5:02. I had a chance of making it. I was already checked in, had no bags and had my boarding pass. I just had to make it through security.

I walked into the airport and checked the screen for my gate. Then had to figure out where that gate was. I asked for help and was told it was in Terminal 6. I was in Terminal 5.
:(

I walked as fast as my short little legs could go. Security was a little slow and then because I have the best of luck, my gate was the furthest gate back. Boarding time was 5:30, I made it by 5:35. Luckily they were super slow boarding. (and yet once we got on, the flight attendant told everyone to hurry up so we could leave on time)

When I got home I gave my husband a hug and said, "Thank you for being so supportive of me so I can do all this cool stuff!"

I'm so lucky and blessed to have this opportunity in my life right now with these awesome people! I am beyond grateful for the relationship we have and for how smoothly everything has gone.

Medical Screening, Meeting the Intended Parents, Surrogacy Progress

Sometimes the surrogate meets her IPs (Intended Parents) in person for the first time at the medical screening. That's how it was for me with couple #1 and couple #3. However, with couple #2, the IM (Intended Mom) flew to Utah to meet me before the medical screening, before we were even technically "matched". Same with couple #4, my current couple, except that the IM (Intended Mom aka "Amazing Grace" on my blog), IF (Intended Father) and their CLG (cute little girl) all came to Utah to meet me.

Let's flashback to that awesome day because sadly I have not blogged about that yet.

They came for a visit September 15, 2012. They arrived at our home around 11:00 AM for lunch and to hang out and get to know each other. My youngest daughter saw them pull up on the security camera. I looked out the peep hole on the door and saw my IM coming up the steps with a bouquet of beautifully bright colored flowers. It was such a beautiful sight it brought tears to my eyes. I was very touched and super excited.

I opened the door and blurted out, "You're taller than I expected." What a dork... just me being a little nervous I guess. She laughed, handed me the flowers and a card and said "Happy Birthday" and gave me a hug. My birthday was September 10th. It was super sweet of her to bring me something.

My husband and oldest daughter had gone out to put up signs for the IPs to follow. However, they got to our house just fine about 10 minutes after John and Tristan had left. After about 15 minutes, I called hubby to tell him they were there and to come back. It's the thought that counts, and IPs thought it was cool that they did that.

I was still working on the chicken enchiladas and I was a little bit shy. However, I soon felt like an old friend was hanging out with me. IM and I get along beautifully. (we already got to know each other pretty well through MANY e-mails and 2 phone calls)  She offered to help grate cheese. I didn't want her doing too much, since I invited them for lunch. However, I was grateful for her help. *No pun intended* LOL

We chatted and visited and ate lunch. IF was wonderful as well. He was easy to talk to and seemed to get along great with my husband. They talked and talked and talked. Both IPs have fun personalities. I think we all got along great. Their adorable little girl was cute and full of energy. She really liked my oldest daughter and followed her around and even held her hand now and then. Everyone thought lunch was yummy which made me feel great!

I gave Amazing Grace a copy of my book. (Once Upon a Surrogate: The Stork's Helpers) She read it and thought it was great. I showed her some other children's books about surrogacy and she genuinely said she liked mine best. She thought mine was a little more real-life and not just a cute little story. That meant a lot to me. She was very grateful for such a tool to help her share the story of surrogacy with her daughter when she is a little bit older.

We decided to head up to Snowbird (our local ski resort) and go to Oktoberfest. We hung out, checked out some booths, got a drink and shared a cookie and chocolate cake. There was some German dancing going on that we sat and watched. The cute little girl asked her dad to dance with her. It was the sweetest thing ever and he did dance with her.

IF paid for us all to go on the Alpine Slide. IM and I were slightly hesitant. It looked fun, but a bit scary. As we rode the ski lift up to the top I was having some anxiety. Part of the reason, was there was nothing holding us in and I was freaking out about the possibility of falling out, and also I was hoping the slide wasn't too extreme. IM and little cutie were in the lift in front of us. All of a sudden I see little cutie's adorable pink flip flop drop to the ground. Oh no!
We get to the top and it was pretty exciting. Once it was all over IM and I felt like we could have done better. I went super slow, being super cautious. I could have gone faster.

IP's anniversary was coming up and they stayed the night at Snowbird. The next day we got together for S'mores. It was nice to spend some more time together before they got on the plane and went back home. It was an awesome weekend. They told me to think it over (being their surrogate) and I said there is nothing to think over, you guys are great. (something like that) IM said I was pretty awesome too. (or something like that) Their cute little girl gave Tristan (oldest daughter) a few hugs and even gave her a kiss goodbye. She gave me a high five.

And now you're caught up which brings us to tomorrow. AGH! (that's happy, excited screaming) Tomorrow I get to hop on a plane and hang out with these lovely people. IM says we will have lunch by the beach. How cool! Then my medical screening is at 3:00. I get to drink a bunch of water and the fertility doctor will check out my uterus among other things. I believe there will probably be some blood drawn. Every time I've had my uterus checked for a surrogacy, I've been told I have a "lovely uterus". Sometimes beautiful, sometimes lovely, but pretty much all the same. I wonder what the doctor will say tomorrow. I also wonder what do you wear to an appoint where a stranger checks out your hoo-ha.

With each journey I have been with a different fertility doctor/clinic. I am excited to meet another Fertility Doctor.

Things are still going very well and I'm so excited for this next step (although I'm kind of nervous to be flying alone). Following the medical screening we need to do a psych eval and work on contracts, then we can set up the embryo transfer. I believe everything should continue to go smoothly and fairly quickly. I'm guesstimating an embryo transfer in December/January.

I've carried a baby girl and twin boys as a surrogate. I think it would be cool to carry boy/girl twins now. Who knows...



P.S. Last time I flew was in 2008 when I ended up getting pregnant with my surro-twins.

Hopeful match (surrogacy)

*Update- it's a match! Things are going well and moving forward. Please send your positive thoughts and wishes our way as we get through the early stages and set our sights on some new-fashioned baby making.

As most of you know, I am looking to be a surrogate again. I've been looking off and on for over a year now. I was matched last year, but it didn't work out. Not every match is a good match or the perfect match. You are committing to at least a year together, you don't want to settle. If it doesn't feel 100% great in the beginning, how will it feel while you're pregnant and then after the birth?

Some people think that it's just as simple as an Intended Parent (IP) looking for a Surrogate and a Surrogate looking for an Intended Parent. Not so simple.

Here's what I think:

• Personalities should be compatible
• You should agree on issues that could arise
• Both sides should feel good about moving forward
• You should agree or at least have some sort of idea of what you want as far as a relationship during and after

That is just a small list off the top of my head.

I know some awesome agencies, but they just haven't been able to match me, so I recently branched out on my own. Every now and then people contact me looking for surrogates. One IM (Intended Mom) contacted me about 2 months ago and I absolutely fell in love with her. She was new to it all and taking her time and in the end she found someone else. Nothing personal, it's just how it goes. (lot's of things factor in)

In the meantime, I put up a few ads on the surrogacy sites I belong to. I got a response here and there and I also responded to some Intended Parent's ads. One IM contacted me and we chatted and even talked on the phone. I really liked her and she seemed to like me. Then all of a sudden I had 4 couples interested in me at the same time.

Do you know how hard it is to be a surrogate and not be able to help all the wonderful IP's out there? Heartbreaking! I was hoping that this one IM and I would match, but the others sounded good as well if it didn't. (But I was really hoping for this particular IM) I figured if I couldn't match with them, I'd love to help them find someone else, which I've done before.

These other IM's have since been matched and,  moving forward except for one that doesn't feel like quite the right fit for me. Another IM might have been a good match but is hoping for someone closer to her.

Let me tell you that finding a match, can be like dating. You might find someone that you really like, but they may not feel the same about you. And of course the other way around. Feelings can get hurt. You don't want to string anyone along, you don't want to rush things, but you also don't want to sit and wait forever not knowing what's going on.

IM and I have kept talking and it seems that things are going good and even possibly moving forward. I've never really thought of what my perfect IM would be, and that's really hard to say because I've been blessed to work (I hate that term) with 3 AWESOME IM's. They were each wonderful in their own way. Well, it seems that I've found another awesome IM and for me, for this time around, I would say she is my ideal IM. That does not mean that the other IM's were not, they were too. They've all treated me wonderfully and I feel that I have a great relationship with them still.

So, keep your fingers crossed for me. I am beyond excited, and hope that this is it.

Are you a Surrogate or Intended Parent? GIVEAWAY

I mentioned in my last post that I am celebrating the 1 year anniversary of my book Once Upon a Surrogate: The Stork's Helpers.

I am having a buy 2 get 1 free sale as part of the celebration until the end of October. It's as simple as you buying 2 and I'll send you the 3rd free. I am offering to sign the books if wanted and I will send bookmarks and stickers while they last.

In addition to the sale, I am offering a FREE copy of the book. This time is for Surrogates and Intended Parents only. So just let me know which you are and why you're interested and I'll enter you. (you can comment on my blog, FB, Twitter or e-mail)

Giveaway ends this Friday October 21, 2011.

Congratulations to @kootenaybcgirl on Twitter for winning the Giveaway!