Goodnight Brian diagnosis excerpt
Brian was eleven months old when
Doctor Alexander summoned the Mauretti family into his office to deliver the
final verdict. Mama insisted that she be there. No one objected.
It was a late
winter afternoon, a howling wind knocking on blocks of ice that were once
windows. Doctor Alexander sat behind his tidy desk, looking distressed. Joan
nearly cried when she saw his demeanor and immediately leaned on Frank for
support. Avoiding initial eye contact, the young doctor was clearly having
trouble offering his prognosis. He cleared his throat and finally reported,
“We’ve discovered that Brian has metabolic alkalosis.”
“He has what?”
Frank asked.
“Metabolic
alkalosis is a blood disorder that affects an infant’s ability to digest
properly and gain weight. It’s caused by a lack of chloride, or sodium, in the
diet.”
“So what does that
mean for Brian?” Joan asked.
“Several of
Brian’s tests have shown some abnormality in the frontal area of his brain.”
Joan, Frank and
Mama’s silence begged for the man to embellish. The doctor took another long
pause, making Joan feel like her heart was going to explode. She tried to slow
down the hyperventilating. It was no use.
“Your son’s
development has been severely damaged,” he finally told Joan and Frank
directly. “And at this point, I believe it’s irreversible.”
“Irreversible? I
don’t understand?” Joan screeched, frightened for her baby boy’s future. She
felt so lightheaded that the room began to spin.
Doctor Alexander
shook his head. “It means that Brian will never walk.”
“Never walk?”
Frank repeated, his face instantly bleached to white.
“I’m sorry, but we
don’t believe he will.” He scanned the reports in front of him and took another
deep breath. “It’s also doubtful that Brian will ever talk or communicate
effectively.”
Joan looked toward
her mother again, her terrified eyes begging for help. Mama got to her feet and
took a defensive posture.
Without
acknowledging the old woman, the doctor went on, “Brian may never be able to do
what normal children—or adults—are able to do.” He paused again. “We believe it
may have been caused by the Neo Mulsoy formula. The low chloride concentration
in his urine is substantial proof that the sodium deficiency within the soy
formula has been the primary cause of Brian’s medical problems.”
While the doctor
tried to explain further, Joan wailed, “Oh God, what did I do to my boy?”
“You didn’t do
anything,” Doctor Alexander and Mama vowed in unison.
The doctor backed
off, allowing the old lady to take over. She grabbed her daughter’s panicked
face. “This wasn’t you,” Mama promised. “You did nothing wrong!” She shook her
head. “And this is only one opinion. There are other doctors…more tests.”
While Joan wept
sorrowfully, Frank rested his hand on his wife’s leg and stared helplessly at
the doctor. “But Doctor Carvalho prescribed the formula to Brian,” he muttered
in a wounded voice, as if it would make some difference.
“There’s no way he
could have known at that time that it would have caused your son harm,” the man
replied.
“You say he’ll
never walk?” Joan cried.
“Sorry, but I
really don’t believe he will,” the doctor answered, sadly.
“Or talk?” Joan
gasped, trying to breathe.
The man slowly
shook his head. “I have to believe that the damage to your son’s frontal lobe will
prohibit any real speech.”
As Joan struggled
to continue her panicked line of questioning, Mama shook her gray, curly head.
“That’s crap!” she said, loud enough for everyone to hear.
The young doctor
turned his attention to her. “I realize that this is…”
“You’re wrong!”
Mama insisted, taking a step toward him.
“Excuse me?” he
asked. “I know this isn’t easy to hear, but…” The man shot her a kind smile,
but Mama wasn’t swayed. “I’m so sorry, but Brian is now mentally disabled,” he
concluded.
“No. I don’t think
you understand,” Mama replied, staring straight into his sapphire eyes. “Our
boy is going to walk. He’s going to talk. He’s going to ride a bike, swim, and
learn to do everything that any other kid can do. It might take a little more
doing, but I guarantee it!”
Although it was
the slightest movement, the doctor shook his head at her foolish hope. “Believe
me, I wish that were true, but…”
“Wishing won’t
have anything to do with it. No, this’ll take faith and determination, and the
love and support of our entire family.”
Unable to do more,
Doctor Alexander turned back to Joan and Frank. “I’m here for whatever you
need.”
“For what?” Frank
barked, his shock turning to rage. “It was a doctor who ruined my son’s life!”
By this point, Joan was nearly rolled into the fetal position, her body
paralyzed from the devastating news.
Doctor Alexander
nodded compassionately and, handing Frank a piece of paper, concluded, “This is
a different soy-based formula that you folks can start Brian on, as well as an
additional chloride supplement. We’ll talk about solid foods and other
alternatives during his next visit.” Patting Joan’s shoulder, he said, “I’m so
sorry” and stepped out of the room.
Mama watched the
back of him disappear down the long hall and nodded herself into the slightest
smirk. In that one moment, she realized her life’s mission had just begun.
While Joan sobbed
and convulsed, Frank held his head in his hands, trying to process it all. Mama
grabbed her dejected daughter’s face again and forced Joan to look into her
eyes. She spoke sternly. “Joan, you listen to me right now. That doctor’s
wrong! Brian’s going to write his own story. He’s going to sing his own song
and no one’s going to sing it for him. It’s his life and it’s between him and
God…not some fool doctor who’s had so much schooling that he’s forgotten the
power of faith.”
Joan shook her
head. “But, Ma…” she sobbed. “You heard him. Brian’s brain has been damaged.”
The final word made her wail out in pain.
“Your Nana said
that she had such a difficult time bringing me into the world that she nearly
died. And the horse doctor who assisted in the birth told her that I just
wouldn’t be right.”
Frank looked up
from his spell and began to quietly weep.
Mama nodded again.
“Yep,” she said, with burning determination. “Brian’s going to be as right as
rain. I guarantee it. Only God knows how…but that’s enough.”
