I do believe in tithing

Maybe you've heard the stories of someone who pays their tithing and receives a check in the mail. It's happened to us. It was a nice check too, about $600 and was from an overpayment of funds. (this was awhile ago...) How often does that happen? I mean really, you've overpaid something and a company admits it and refunds you? I don't think it happens as often as it should. Would it have happened anyway? Maybe, but I don't think it was a coincidence. I think we needed to be shown in a big way that it pays to pay tithing.

Money has been tight since John got out of the Navy in 2008. However, we've made it work. We're still in our house, we have what we need. We put away a little at a time for the extras. It was so tight for awhile that we felt there was just no way we could pay our tithing. There wasn't any leftover. So we didn't. And guess what? It seemed to get worse. We seemed to have less money and things were tighter than ever.

Recently we had been in to talk to the Bishop and tithing was brought up. We explained that things were just too tight. We were told to pay our tithing first. We got back on the tithing train. It is amazing how it works out. We are paying our tithing AND having some money left over. Not a lot, but better than breaking even or worse. Not only that, but I have the last 3 tithing checks here and I'm noticing that each one is a little bit more than the last. Meaning?  Somehow John is getting paid a little bit more each week since we started paying tithing. I should also mention that we've also had an opportunity to make some extra cash. We even had enough money to pay John's speeding ticket!

The secret to successful tithing paying? Pay your tithing first. If you don't think you can afford to, just try it, really give it a chance and believe in it. In reality, you can't afford not to! Try it for 4 weeks straight if you get paid weekly, or try it for a few months if you're paid every 2 weeks or monthly. Then come back and tell me what happened.

I can be spiritual, but I don't like being "churchy" or preachy. This is just one of those things that are too good to keep to yourself. It truly is a blessing. Share the blessing, no matter what religion you are. Help your church and you will be blessed as well. It's really not a lot to ask compared to all that God has given us.

Happy Friday! Have a rockin-awesome weekend!

Extended blessings through surrogacy

I know many of you are curious about my adventures in surrogacy and have many questions. I will talk about what I can in other posts. For now I want to say what a blessing it is for me as a surrogate to be a part of something so amazing. Those moments stay with you forever.  When you get to see a couple become a family, it's a wonderful sight. When you are sincerely appreciated and thanked because you were the key to opening that door, it's an overwhelingly awesome feeling! Your heart becomes so full. It's an uplifting experience. All I have to do is think about it and I smile. If you're lucky, you get a great set of intended parents who keep in touch.

With my first surrogacy I had a pretty good experience. Towards the end however I felt I would be tossed aside. Now, there's nothing saying that either side has to keep in contact. It would be nice, but it's not mandatory. I knew that going into this. I didn't need the contact, I just hoped for it. But when she was born, I thought it would be, "Thank you very much, have a nice life.". "Goodbye".

It's been 3 1/2 years now and I still get e-mails, pictures, Christmas cards, etc. What really touched me was the Christmas card I got about a year and a half after she was born. They thanked me  again for everything I had done and were so grateful because without me they would not have their daughter. Because of their culture, I was  a secret to some. A lot of people didn't know they had a surrogate. Maybe that was part of the reason I thought I'd be "tossed aside". afterwards. But I wasn't. They have become long distance friends. (none of my couples have lived close) I knew they were happy and grateful the day she was born, but I feel so special that they have chosen to keep in touch and that they still think of me. The mom actually said that every time she looks at her she thinks of me. Not because she looks like me. (I only contributed my uterus)  She thinks of me because she wouldn't have her without me. These are her words, not mine. I had no idea that could feel so important, essential even. 

When S______ was born, it felt so natural to have her handed to her parents. I felt blessed to be the stork. I didn't want to feel left out, but I didn't want to impose on the parents bonding with their baby either. I didn't know how I would feel after she was born. Well she wasn born at about 4:00 AM, and I was happy and exhausted. She was my first natural birth and all I wanted to do was sleep. I was a 1st time surrogate and I wanted to do things right. She was not mine. The parents were set up in their own room in the hospital with her. My mom was there and my kids were there. They all got to hold her. My friend  (a surrogate too) even came to visit and got to hold her. I hadn't held her yet. My mom told me that S_____ wanted me to hold her before I left the hospital. I think it was about 10:00 PM when we went to their room to meet her and hold her. It didn't feel like I was holding the baby I had carried and delivered. It felt like I was holding my friend's baby and I was so happy for her and her husband. I had worried that I might get depressed after she was born, but I felt so uplifted. I felt overjoyed. I had never felt happier.


My 2nd set of IP's were wonderful. I just fell in love with them. I adored the mom and we emailed constantly.I got pregnant on the first try, but I sadly miscarried. They moved on and couldn't bear to try again. They had already been through so much. But they kept in touch. I'm so sad that I didn't get to see their dreams come true. My heart broke right along with them. But I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to get to know such great people and to have shared such an intimate part of their lives.

My next IP's were great too. So nice and friendly. We all got along so well. They were very comfortable to be around, almost like old friends. The first embryo transfer failed, but we tried again and it was well worth it. We were not surprised to find out it was twins. I was so excited for them. Each surrogacy is different in it's own way. I felt pretty special to be a surrogate pregnant with twins. It wasn't the easiest pregnancy, but it was still very enjoyable. To feel two seperate babies moving inside of me, it was absolutely amazing. For awhile I couldn't tell them apart. But soon I knew that one was more quiet and calm and the other was the life of the party. I was so grateful to be a part of that experience. They have also kept in touch and I just feel honored.

You enjoy the surrogacy, you move on with your life and then you get reminders of the miracle(s) you were a part of. All of these parents have blessed me more than they know. My heart is so full. Here I am thankful for so much this year and I find a beautiful e-mail this morning:

"Jill and L____ -


I wanted to drop a quick note and some pictures of Mr. H______ and Mr. O______. Of the many things I am thankful for in my life, these two delicious boys are near (at) the top of my list. They are such a joy and are doing so well. While I don’t think we have it all under control yet, things are slowly getting easier. At 7 months (wow time has gone so fast), the boys do not require the minute-by-minute attention they used to. It is not always easy, but it is so satisfying. (The boys look serious in these photos, which is amazing, because they are giggling and smiling almost all the time.)

I thank Jill so much for helping us get these delicious monkeys and L_____ for helping bring it all about.

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and may God bless and protect you and your families.


Regards,

M_______ "

I was so touched and got a little choked up. This is above and beyond what I expected when I first wanted to be a surrogate in 2005. I have been blessed to be God's helper and those blessings just keep coming.

I am grateful to these families for choosing me to be their surrogate and for treating me like an angel.

*I decided to add pics. I apologize, I can't really show the precious babies.

1st surrogacy:

I can share this one, since you can't really see S____'s face.

Twin surrogacy:

This was towards the end- I got even bigger than what you see! I swear I gained 10 pounds in the week I was in the hospital before they were born.

This was the day I checked into the hospital 32 weeks. They were born at 33 weeks.

You should see the pic of my belly on the operating table.

Well ok, here ya go:

Sorry no pics of the boys. There faces are too distinctive and you can see them too well in each pic.

 I wish I had a pic of me holding the 2 of them I could share. You'll just have to use your imagination.

Update: (I got permission to share a pic of me and the boys on another post, so I'm adding it here as well)

Halloween already? Among other ramblings...

How on earth can it be time for Halloween already? I mean this weekend, seriously? I don't even know if I'm going to dress up or what I would dress up as. Hmmmm... I'm excited. Fall is a great time.. and Halloween is so fun. Plus... CANDY... YUM! John goes all out on Halloween dressing up and all that. I think he's going to be helping our friend with a haunted house. What sucks is that John has to work on Halloween, and I don't know what time he'll get off. The festivities around here start at 5:00 or 5:30. I'm hoping he can get off by 2:00 or 3:00.

John has been working overtime lately which is so bittersweet. We need the money YES! But it's hard when he got out of the Navy to spend more time with us. That is hard to do when he works Monday-Saturday till about 6:00 PM, comes home filthy so there's 1/2 an hour to shower. I guess I should be grateful we at least can eat dinner together and I'm certainly thankful I get to sleep next to him each night. I am just feeling like I saw him more when he was in the Navy. (only because he would fly home Friday and we'd have the weekend to run around together) I really should stop complaining.... but not yet. He usually only has to work Mon-Thurs and that's been awesome, but like I said, we needed the extra money. A Friday here, a Saturday there is great. Yes, he gets overtime if it lines up right. Well anyay, so last week he was supposed to work Friday and Saturday.. but he had his kidney infection pain.. and then the antibiotics would knock him out.. so he couldn't work!

So he was home, but sick.. and the kids were sick and I wasn't feeling so good myself. Then this past weekend he had to work Friday and Saturday.. I feel like we need a date night so bad! We were able to sneak in a family dinner with the kids Saturday. He got home at a decent time, went home, showered, picked up little Jessie from his mom's and met us at Chili's. It was nice, but then it's bed time, we have a 45 minute drive home.. and then we're all exhausted and have to get up for church the next day.

Really I'm being a whiner, because church isn't until 1:00 PM. Plenty of time right? Not when you're exhausted and have 3 kids to get ready and had a rough week. While we were at Chili's my favorite missionary called. Him and his companion were at our house to visit. Aw man... :( I felt bad we weren't home. He said he was leaving to go HOME on Tuesday (or at least that was his last day being a missionary here) and wanted to say goodbye. I asked if they could come over the next day (sunday-yesterday) He said they could do 2:00, but I said we'd be in church. He said something like what do you want to go to church for? LOL... we decided they could come at 10:00 AM before church. So we had to get up earlier than usual... and it was well worth it. He's just a great guy and a wonderful missionary. I really hope we can stay in touch. He told us he loved us and we got to hug him and say goodbye. We definitely LOVE him too! We might be going to a fireside Wednesday night to see him one last time. That would be awesome. He is so genuine. Some missionaries are so monotone and you just feel like they're going through the motions. I could see the truth shining in this guy. No denying that. Everything he shared with us was heartfelt and pure.

Since John and I had both had a long, rough week... we only went to sacrament meeting. We came home and relaxed for a bit and then had dinner. Our home teachers came over and we had a nice time with them. (one was a fill in.. and he's a great/funny guy) John was really not feeling like having them over.. but I think those are the times you need them the most. Once they came, he didn't seem to mind at all, and we laughed and joked and then had a nice little lesson and it was all good.

Shortly after John was ordained an Elder, we had our last temple lesson at the Buntjers. We talked a little about the priesthood and blessings. Both of the girls wanted a blessing right then and there. It was awesome. I think Jeremy got a blessing later that night at home. I was going to get one later as well. However, it didn't happen. So I hope it would happen sometime before we went to the temple, but it didn't. Well yesterday I really felt like I needed one. I always have been a huge fan of priesthood blessings. I've been amazed so many times by the power felt and the personal things said. I never thought I'd have a husband that could give me such a blessing. What a cool feeling that he could help me in such a personal/powerful way in our own home when I needed it. I didn't have to call someone else and hope they could come as soon as I wanted. I think he's struggled a bit with giving blessings. They are stil new and a bit foreign to him. I don't know if he knows how to feel the spirit and let it guide him. He's not sure if his mind can shut off long enough to listen to anything but the voices in his head. (ha ha not really.. but he has ADHD, so he's alwyas got something going on in his mind)
Well it was finally time for my blessing. He seemed a bit nervous, almost shy, which is so unlike him. But I understand, this is all still new to us, praying in front of each other.. it's getting easier and less awkward, but it will take some time. However, he did what he needed to get ready and he totally redeemed himself. It was so amazing to connect like that between Heavenly Father, John and me. He knew just what to say, just what I needed to hear. I'm so proud and grateful that he is my husband and that he's become such an honorable man.