Let's talk surrogacy!

The other day I was invited to join my friend Dawn Marmorstein on the premiere of her radio show. I rarely turn down an opportunity to talk about surrogacy and shed some light on the subject. (Especially when it's with someone I know and respect.)

I had a great time and hopefully we helped answered a few questions for those who want to know more about surrogacy. 

You can listen here- 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dawnmarmorstein/2013/07/13/introduction-to-surrogacy--how-i-entered-this-industry

Details for upcoming Surrogacy interview with the Surrogacy Lawyer Radio Program (and me)

Remember my last post?   http://mormonsurrogate.blogspot.com/2011/03/real-me-behind-computer.html 
And how I told you I'd give you more details?  Well here they are:
(This Thursday 3/10/11)


You may have to get out your magnifying glass or just click on the "image". Sorry, at full size 1/2 of it was cut off on my blog. (now it doesn't seem to be showing up at all) 
The main thing is that you come and listen, so here's the link http://www.ericksonlaw.net/surrogacy-law-radio

Mark your calendars and come listen. (3/10/11) Just remember how nervous I was.:)

The Real Me (behind the computer)

I love the Internet! I love e-mails and of course my blog. Why? Because I can stop and think about what I'm going to say, how I'm going to respond. Especially if it's about something important or something that I feel so strongly about. In person, or even with a phone call, you don't always get to say everything you want to say or how you want to say it. At least that's how it is with me. I've always been better at getting my feelings out on paper; through a poem or a letter or an e-mail or blog post. If I mess up, I can just delete or erase and start over.

I had an incredible opportunity to be interviewed on an Internet radio show.  (Theresa Erickson's The Surrogacy Lawyer Radio Program)

When I was approached about it I was excited and flattered. I was also nervous.  I wanted to say yes, but I hesitated for a little bit. Could I do it? Could I really put myself out there and sound somewhat intelligent? Well, you'll have to tell me.

I was relieved to find out that I'd be getting a list of questions beforehand. At least I could figure out what I was going to say/how I was going to respond. I had even blogged about most of the topics, so I printed off some blog posts and highlighted key points. I also jotted down some notes. I was going to be cool and collected and sound professional. Right?

I started to get a bit of anxiety, but I had my notes, I could do this! I wanted to do it. I got over the anxiety. I had about a week to prepare. I went over it in my head and knew what I wanted to say. But then as it got to be the night before (last night) and the morning of (this morning), I started getting nervous. Deep down I'm a shy little girl and there are times when I can get anxiety, mainly social anxiety. Put me on the spot and I don't always sound like I know what I'm talking about. Sometimes I ramble or just can't think of how to say something or how to explain it. I tried not to stress over it.

I phoned in and the butterflies were causing quite a stir. I could hear it in my voice that I sounded scared and nervous. I didn't want to ramble and say too much, but I think I ended up not answering the whole question or explaining what I was really trying to say. It wasn't as easy to use my notes as I thought it would be. As time went on, I could breathe a little easier and could focus a little bit more. Overall, I'm happy with how it went, I just feel like I could have done better.  I did get some key points across, but I didn't say all I wanted to say the way I wanted to say it. But that's ok, because it's all been said and done here at my blog.

For my first experience with a live interview, I did my best and I'm proud that I did it.

There was another surrogate that was interviewed, and I thought she did awesome. She sounded quite smooth and seemed to say all the right things. After hearing her answer one of the same questions I had already answered, I thought "Oh my gosh, I didn't even mention that aspect"... grrr. Seriously I felt like such a dork. I told a little about each surrogacy experience, but it was more like technical info, not how the experience made me feel or how wonderful the families were. I hope I didn't come across as insensitive or that I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I know, I'm probably beating myself up more than I should.

I am very grateful for the opportunity and for all the doors that have been opened to me since I first became a surrogate. If you would like to listen to what I'm like when I'm nervous and not hiding behind a computer, then come on over... but you'll have to wait till next Thursday, March 10th at 11 am PDT. (I'll add a more direct link if I get one)

Please come back and tell me what you thought.

P.S. Now you know why I don't do public speaking anywhere. And yet, somehow I can sing in front of strangers 99% of the time, especially if it's Karaoke!    :)

1/11/11 A fine day for an interview and a book review

I was recently interviewed as an author over at I Am a Reader, Not a Writer. Yay, how fun! Check it out:

http://iamareadernotawriter.blogspot.com/2011/01/author-interview-book-giveaway-once.html

She also reviewed my book and is doing a giveaway-
http://iamareadernotawriter.blogspot.com/2011/01/book-review-once-upon-surrogate-by-jill.html

Happy Tuesday! Although I'm posting it so late I should say Happy Wednesday!

:)

an unexpected interview

I'm always amazed and caught off guard when I'm approached because of my blog. It's usually because of surrogacy. Who am I kidding? It's always been about surrogacy. 

Here's a recent e-mail I received:

Dear Mrs ________,  (sorry not going to show my real last name)



I'm a Journalism student in Paris. Within the framework of my journalism school, I have to investigate on surrogate mothers on Internet. The story is about the fact that these women use Internet and social networks to tell their stories. I've been very moved by your blog. I'm also very interested by your tweets.

I guess you are very busy but I was wondering if by any chance you could either send me an email about this experience, or answer a quick interview tomorrow (10/28). If you prefer, we could also exchange by emails. I can send you questions, so you can take your time to answer. It's pretty urgent because we are working just like actual editorial offices, so we have short deadlines. I have to give back my story before tomorrow night.

The interview would not be long, and it would be really interesting to get highlights from you.

The story won't be shown except to my teacher. She will then decide if she'll put it or not on our websites ( www.celsabuzz.info ). I'll be in French, but I can translate it for you.

Let me know if you would agree,

Thanks a zillion

Yours faithfully,

Chloé (not going to show her last name either)

At first I thought- is this for real? But she mentions twitter and my blog and I felt pretty good about it. She e-mailed me at the address attached to my Twitter account and I noticed she was following me on Twitter.  Plus I figured, if I answer her questions, what's it going to hurt? I doubted she would ask me anything I wouldn't feel comfortable blogging about anyway. Make sense?  So I said sure and answered her questions right away. I then asked if I could post the Q&A on my blog and she said yes.

Ta da:

1/ Why did you start a blog? Do you want to inspire others? Is it to counteract the awkward reactions most people show when you told them about surrogacy?


I originally started my blog because I was going through a spiritual journey at the time with my family. (getting ready to go through the LDS/Mormon temple) My youngest daughter was making some cute inspirational observations and a friend suggested I started a blog.

2/ Why did you choose to put your story online? I saw you were very involved in social networks and community websites. Why internet seemed to be the perfect place to share according to you? Would you say that you got a blog to share this story with all the women who want to become surrogate mothers? Or would you say it's a kind of universal story that you want to share with the all world?

I chose to put my story online because I was already telling everyone on Facebook, etc. what was going on in my life. With my blog, I felt I could reach out to more people. I love to connect with other surrogates and intended parents, but my blog is universal. I blog about everyday wife as well. My husband was in the Navy for 10 years and I've blogged about that a few times.

3/ For who did you write? Your kids and your family? Your friends? Did FIP's read your blog? Did you write for surro kids?

On my blog I write for myself (I hope that doesn't sound selfish, I meant that I write as a journal) and hope that I write about subjects and experiences that are interesting to others. I know some of my family and friends check my blog every now and then. My surro kids are pretty young to be reading my blog. I would love for them to know who I am though as they get older. I'm not aware that my FIP's read my blog.

4/ Do you think you write more about the good and easy states of your surrogacy journey, or do you think you write more when it was difficult?

I write about all aspects of the surrogacy journey. However, some things would be too personal to write about. For example, if I had a negative experience with an intended parent, that wouldn't be appropriate to blast all over the internet. It really depends on the situtaion. There are private places  I could turn to, to vent and get support and understanding.


5/ What was different between writing the book and keeping your blog updated?

Writing my book was a much more creative experience. I'm more easy going when I post to my blog. I worked hard on my book and edited and re-edited. With my blog, I like to be more spontaneous and don't worry so much about editing or having it "just right". Also, I wrote my book to be a children's book, although I feel adults could enjoy it as well. I wanted to contribute something about surrogacy that was positive. There is too much negative exposure in the media.


6/ What did you get out of this experience?

Out of the surrogacy experience? I get a feeling of accomplishment. It's very uplifting.. Even years after the babies are born, I feel on top of the world. It's amazing to help others, especially in a way that they couldn't do on their own. I care deeply about the surrogate children I've given birth to and I wish the best for them at all times. I'm amazed how many people approach me and ask me questions or compliment me for being so selfless. It's always unexpected and appreciated.



I really felt like I could have said more or could have been more ellaborate, but I was short on time, and wanted to get it to her so she could turn it in. I was very flattered that she approached me and that she had such nice things to say. She was worried about her English, but I almost think she is better at it than me.

:)