How do surrogates get pregnant?

It is always interesting to hear what people think about surrogacy. Most people have a different understanding of how surrogates get pregnant.

(This is my 3rd attempt at this blog post, the other two disappeared on my phone. They were brilliant, just so you know)

My most recent encounter-

Them: "So, will they extract all your eggs and replace them with the Intended Mom's eggs?"
Me: "No. They have embryos and they will transfer the embryos to my uterus."

Interesting thought though. Later I thought, "And what about the sperm? It takes more than eggs. What did they think they do with the sperm?"

I am not making fun of anyone's interpretation of the process. I find it fascinating because I never thought about it before I lived it. I wonder what I would have thought if someone had asked me before I learned about surrogacy and became a surrogate. Surrogacy is my life and I am here to help people understand it better.

What I don't like is when someone thinks that surrogates get pregnant "the old fashioned way". Nope, at least most of us don't. There are unfortunately some wackadoodles out there and TV and movies would like to think we do. There are Traditional Surrogates who use their own eggs AND carry the pregnancy. And I'm pretty sure in the old days, they did do it the old fashioned way. The absolute worst is when someone compares surrogacy to prostitution. Those people are purely ignorant!!

So then, how DO surrogates get pregnant?

I'm not an expert, but I have gone through 6 embryo transfers and I am preparing for a 7th. What I know is what I have experienced.

Gestational Surrogacy: Fresh  and Frozen Embryo Transfers

With gestational surrogacy, the surrogate is only a carrier, she does not contribute any genetic material.

 

The protocols vary, but for the most part, the surrogate will take a combination of medications, shots and/or suppositories to prepare her body and uterus for pregnancy. It is important to prepare the uterine lining for embryo implantation. If the Intended Mom is using her eggs, the surrogate and IM will usually take birth control pills to sync their periods before starting the other medications. If an egg donor is used, then the surrogate and egg donor will sync their cycles. Surrogates are monitored through ultrasounds and blood draws to make sure their body is reacting to the medications like they should. The eggs are retrieved as well as the sperm and embryos are created. The embryos "grow" for 3-5 days and hopefully get to the blastocyst stage before transferring. If the surrogate's uterine lining is nice and thick with no issues, the embryo(s) are transferred into her uterus through a catheter. Usually 1-3 embryos are transferred depending on the embryo quality. 

The surrogate is usually placed on bed rest for 24-72 hours. 

This varies by doctor/clinic. Some surrogates don't do any bed rest, some do light bed rest, others do strict bed rest. Approximately 2 weeks after the embryo transfer, the surrogate does a blood test (HCG/Beta) to see if she is pregnant. If she is, she will stay on medications/shots a little longer to sustain the pregnancy. If not, she will stop medications and if all parties agree, they will start over and try again. 

For a frozen transfer, the embryos are created the same and then frozen at day 3-5. The surrogate will not need to sync up with the IM or egg donor for a frozen cycle.Typically frozen transfers are faster in preparation. The embryos are thawed a day or two before the transfer. Not all embryos survive the thaw. Some people say frozen transfers have a higher success rate. Sometimes a fresh transfer is done, but there are leftover embryos which are frozen.

Traditional Surrogacy

I don't know a lot about the process, sorry!  The Intended Father's sperm is used to inseminate the surrogate. I don't believe shots are involved, but maybe a few medications. (?) Some surrogates inseminate at home with a simple turkey baster, but it is more common now to be inseminated at the Dr.'s office or fertility clinic. 

So, now you know how we really get pregnant. If you need more pictures and simpler terms about surrogacy , I have a book for that!  

:-)

Once Upon a Surrogate: The Stork's Helpers

Gestational and Traditional Surrogacy and a book review

Did you know that there are different kinds of surrogates. I mean beside good ones and bad ones. Ha! But seriously, there are Gestational Surrogates (GS) and Traditional Surrogates (TS). What the heck is the difference?

Well, when surrogacy was first around I believe most if not all surrogates were Traditional Surrogates. The surrogate would use her own eggs combined with sperm from the Intended Father to produce a baby for the couple to raise as their own. Technically the child was in part their own, thanks to the fathers contribution, but the child was also genetically related to the Surrogate. There are still Traditional Surrogates today. Sometimes an infertile couple needs an egg donor AND a surrogate. A Traditional Surrogate acts as both. I think it is very admirable, but I don't think it is for everybody.

So then, what is a Gestational Surrogate? Well that would be surrogates like me. I have carried babies for infertile couples using their embryos. Sometimes the embryo was made up of the mother and father's genetics, sometimes an egg donor was involved. Either way, I was only a carrier for the baby(s). I was in no way genetically tied to or related to the baby(s). I was just the stork. I was an organ donor, donating my uterus, nothing else.

When I went to my medical screening awhile back (for my current surrogacy journey), I took some things to keep me busy on the plane and at the airport. Among those things was a book titled My Egg, My Womb, Your Baby! by Dawn Marmorstein. I was so excited to read a book about surrogacy while I was starting another surrogacy of my own.



Dawn has been a Traditional Surrogate three times. I was very curious to read how different her story would be compared to my own surrogacy experiences. In some ways, it was very different, but the feelings involved were very much the same. It all comes down to helping couples become parents.

"Dawn enjoyed being pregnant so much when she carried her own children that she decided she wanted to help others who were unable to create their own family. After doing some research, Dawn decided that she wanted to become a Traditional Surrogate mother -- both egg donor and surrogate mother -- who would be genetically related to the surrobaby she carried who ultimately destined to be given to another family. while modernly, most surrogacies are gestational surrogacies, where there is a separate egg donor who provides the egg for the carrying surrogate mother, Dawn's journey with traditional surrogacy created three babies related to her, each with her knowledge and consent that two would given to two separate same sex recipients, and one would go to a traditionally married couple.

I thought to myself," I could carry someone else's baby!"  

It did not take me long to read the book. I got caught up in each experience she wrote about. It was so interesting to read all the similarities as well as the differences between traditional and gestational surrogacy. I thought it was really neat that Dawn and I had a lot in common. We both stumbled upon surrogacy on the internet, we both got a self-esteem boost and felt our sexiest when pregnant. We are both on our 4th surrogacy journeys.

She had plenty of ups and downs between different hospitals and agencies. At one point she was accused of having an affair with the baby's father. Dawn eventually decided to start up her own agency, Los Angeles Surrogacy Center.

Dawn's writing is real and raw. It is a wonderful look inside the surrogacy world. You should definitely read this book. You will not want to put it down.

Learn more about Dawn, her agency and her book below.

Buy My Egg, My Womb, Your Baby! on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1479121193/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_6SRMqb0RKGAN5

On Smashwords:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/213653

Facebook Pages:
http://www.facebook.com/myeggmywombyourbaby

http://www.facebook.com/lasurrocenter

Dawn's website:
http://www.dawnmarmorstein.com/

Dawn's Surrogacy Blog:
http://surrobaby4.blogspot.com/

*Disclaimer- Dawn and I exchanged books about surrogacy for review. Read her review about my book here: http://www.mommylovestalking.com/2012/10/book-review-once-upon-surrogate-storks.html