The Real Me (behind the computer)

I love the Internet! I love e-mails and of course my blog. Why? Because I can stop and think about what I'm going to say, how I'm going to respond. Especially if it's about something important or something that I feel so strongly about. In person, or even with a phone call, you don't always get to say everything you want to say or how you want to say it. At least that's how it is with me. I've always been better at getting my feelings out on paper; through a poem or a letter or an e-mail or blog post. If I mess up, I can just delete or erase and start over.

I had an incredible opportunity to be interviewed on an Internet radio show.  (Theresa Erickson's The Surrogacy Lawyer Radio Program)

When I was approached about it I was excited and flattered. I was also nervous.  I wanted to say yes, but I hesitated for a little bit. Could I do it? Could I really put myself out there and sound somewhat intelligent? Well, you'll have to tell me.

I was relieved to find out that I'd be getting a list of questions beforehand. At least I could figure out what I was going to say/how I was going to respond. I had even blogged about most of the topics, so I printed off some blog posts and highlighted key points. I also jotted down some notes. I was going to be cool and collected and sound professional. Right?

I started to get a bit of anxiety, but I had my notes, I could do this! I wanted to do it. I got over the anxiety. I had about a week to prepare. I went over it in my head and knew what I wanted to say. But then as it got to be the night before (last night) and the morning of (this morning), I started getting nervous. Deep down I'm a shy little girl and there are times when I can get anxiety, mainly social anxiety. Put me on the spot and I don't always sound like I know what I'm talking about. Sometimes I ramble or just can't think of how to say something or how to explain it. I tried not to stress over it.

I phoned in and the butterflies were causing quite a stir. I could hear it in my voice that I sounded scared and nervous. I didn't want to ramble and say too much, but I think I ended up not answering the whole question or explaining what I was really trying to say. It wasn't as easy to use my notes as I thought it would be. As time went on, I could breathe a little easier and could focus a little bit more. Overall, I'm happy with how it went, I just feel like I could have done better.  I did get some key points across, but I didn't say all I wanted to say the way I wanted to say it. But that's ok, because it's all been said and done here at my blog.

For my first experience with a live interview, I did my best and I'm proud that I did it.

There was another surrogate that was interviewed, and I thought she did awesome. She sounded quite smooth and seemed to say all the right things. After hearing her answer one of the same questions I had already answered, I thought "Oh my gosh, I didn't even mention that aspect"... grrr. Seriously I felt like such a dork. I told a little about each surrogacy experience, but it was more like technical info, not how the experience made me feel or how wonderful the families were. I hope I didn't come across as insensitive or that I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I know, I'm probably beating myself up more than I should.

I am very grateful for the opportunity and for all the doors that have been opened to me since I first became a surrogate. If you would like to listen to what I'm like when I'm nervous and not hiding behind a computer, then come on over... but you'll have to wait till next Thursday, March 10th at 11 am PDT. (I'll add a more direct link if I get one)

Please come back and tell me what you thought.

P.S. Now you know why I don't do public speaking anywhere. And yet, somehow I can sing in front of strangers 99% of the time, especially if it's Karaoke!    :)

To my 16 year old self

I was inspired to participate in this post by One Cluttered Brain who was inspired by Scary Mommy..

So here's what I'd say to my 16 year old self:

You are NOT fat!!! You just matured quicker than everyone else and don't have a scrawny little girl's body. One day you will look back and wish you were what you thought and others made you feel as "fat".

Let the boys down gently. You'll regret it later that you were mean to him when he was so good to you.

Spend just a little more time with your girlfriends, one day they may move away and you'll be lucky to see them like you used to, although, facebook helps.

You don't always need a boyfriend!

Try not to get too attached.

I know you are more mature than others your age and it feels so right, but maybe you should slow down just a bit.

Does he really love you? Because you really could end up heartbroken and it could affect you for a long time!

Stick to the voice lessons for at least another year, you're having so much fun and really getting good at it. This is what you love!

Keep working on those short stories. One day you could be a published author! 

;-)


Wow... that got personal!

Monday Blog Stuff- get to know me come play along

Hosted by (Never Growing Old) Click (above) to play along and add your post.  
Questions:

1. What is your favorite kind of pie?

2. Have you ever ran out of gas in the car you were driving?

3. How many languages do you speak?

4. Do you take daily vitamins?

5. What is your worst eating habit?

My answers:

1. What is your favorite kind of pie?
I'm really not a pie person unless it has a graham cracker crust, so in all reality my favorite "pie" is Cheesecake. LOL

2. Have you ever ran out of gas in the car you were driving?


No not while I was driving. However, one lovely morning I jumped in our "new" truck and started it, then proceeded to gather all the things I needed for the day, including the children. At one point it sounded like the truck wasn't running anymore. I thought hmmm maybe I didn't really start it. So I do some trouble shooting and I just cannot get the dang thing to start. Hubby had mentioned something about the battery so I thought maybe the battery had died. Well we have AAA, and I thought we have it for just such ocassions. So I call AAA, a fine young man comes out to the house and diagnoses the battery, etc. Come to find out I was low on gas. We have a sloped driveway, he has me coast to level ground and sure enough the car starts. I was so embarrassed, because I KNOW that when our vehicles are low on gas and hubby has them parked backwards in the sloped driveway, that they won't start. But I usually know how much gas is in the vehicles and last I drove the truck, it was fine. Hubby didn't let me know it was low.. so it's all his fault, right?   :)

3. How many languages do you speak?


1- English. I took French for a year in 9th grade, but I do not "speak" it. I can say and understand very little. I also know some sign language, but would not do well in an actual conversation.

4. Do you take daily vitamins?
Not daily. I forget. However, when I do, I usually take children's vitamins. I mean come on, they're yummy. The Marvel sour gummy ones are our favorite around here.

5. What is your worst eating habit?


Sweets. I have to have something sweet every day and I usually crave it in the evening.   :(

Here we go- Introduction to me

Well here I am. I've been thinking about this for awhile, since I already tell the whole world what I'm doing on Facebook.
Here's a brief rundown of who I am:

As my title suggests, I am a Mormon Surrogate. I have done 3 surrogacies so far. 1st one resulted in a beautiful baby girl. 2nd, a sad miscarriage. 3rd darling twin boys. Because of legal reasons I cannot go into detail about these experiences. I will however say as much as I can. Surrogacy is such an amazing concept. I am so blessed to be able to be part of such an amazing experience. I have been able to meet some very neat people along the way. (other surrogates, different people working at different agencies, potential couples, etc.) It has overall been a very positive part of my life. I will get more into that later. I should mention my most recent twin surrobabies were born April 15, 2009.

I started desinging surrogacy merchandise in 2005 at cafepress and zazzle. I will add my online shops later.

So for the Mormon side of me: I grew up in an LDS family, but stopped going to church when I was about 15-16. I recently became active again with my husband and our 3 children. We are currently working towards going to the temple and getting sealed together as a family for all time and eternity.

I am a postive, spiritual person, so please keep all comments clean. :)

I guess I should mention that I do many at home businesses. I think I can mention them all here. I have been an Avon Lady since 2002. Yes, technically I'm an Avon Representative, but I love the term "Avon Lady". I already mentioned my designing and I intend to design more than just surro-stuff. I also am an Isagenix Associate. My favorite at home "job" though is Scentsy. Yes I am a Scentsy Consultant. What a fun, yummy smelling opportunity.

I should warn you that I take lot's of pictures!

Thanks for reading/visiting.

Jill