Guest Blogger/Post Kate from A Girl For All Time

Top 10 Tips Every Parent Should Follow

As parents, it is only natural that we all want to do a fantastic job of raising our children.  It takes great courage to be a parent, given the level of commitment and responsibility that is required of us.

We looked at ten top tips that won’t do the job for you, but will give you the confidence and the conviction to be the best parent you can be.

1. Relax

There isn’t a ‘right’ way to be a parent, so stop fretting about whether or not you are doing the ‘right’ thing. What works for some parents and children might not for others. Be confident that whatever works for you is the best thing to do.

2. Appreciate Play

You go to work every day, and probably take great pride in it. The time your children spend playing with their favourite dolls, for example, is their equivalent. Take the time to appreciate what they do, and spend time with them as they do it to aid social and emotional development.

3. Communicate

Speak, listen, and engage in non-verbal communication as much as possible. Smiles, hugs, waves, and games of ‘peek-a-boo’ are all great ways to ‘speak without speaking.’

4. Build Good Habits

Children are eager when they are young, so take the time at an early stage to build good habits, whether this is in the food they eat, the way they brush their teeth, or reading for 30 minutes before bed.

5. Encourage Questions

Children are curious by nature, and as a parent you can encourage this by answering all of their questions and helping them to build their understanding of the world around them.

6. Learn About Children

Understand how youngsters develop, why they do certain things, or what they need in order to flourish. Above all, recognise that your child is unique, and you know them better than anyone, or any book, ever will.

7. Promote Individuality

It is easy for parents to try and lead their children a particular route, especially when it comes to hobbies and interests. Support your child’s individuality, and encourage them to explore avenues even if they aren’t the ones you would ordinarily promote yourself.

8. Make Time for Family Activities

Modern life is busier than ever, and as such families can often resemble ships passing in the night, with parents coming and going to work and children at school or spending time with friends. Ensure there is a fixed period of each day or week where you commit to spending time together.

9. Follow Home Rules

It can be difficult to establish good behaviour patterns and rules if you have children of varying ages, however teenagers will have to be supportive of any initiatives you have in place in order to manage younger ones, for example an earlier bedtime.

10. Make Time for Yourself

Yes, parenting is a 24/7 job, but there are those precious moments when you can make time for yourself. Whether it is listening to music, catching up on sleep, or enjoying a coffee in town, even the small things will help to refresh and re-energise you.

A Girl For All Time are unique doll makers in the UK and US that provide quality collectible dolls for enthusiasts and collectors.

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Kate

Guest Post- Religion VS Surrogacy

Welcome guest blogger, Michelle @ I'm Just the Stork. The original post can be found at: http://theirbabymywomb.blogspot.com/2012/05/religion-vs-surrogacy.html

*Sorry, having issues with the post getting cut off. If you click on the post title below, you can read it in full or click on the link above.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Religion vs Surrogacy

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born. - Elayne Boosler

There are quite a few things I could write in this, my first surrogate blog. I feel strongly about them all, but quite possibly the strongest about this.  

The quote above refers to the Catholic Church, but sadly, it's not just the Catholic Church that feels this way.

In my opinion, every woman who is genuine in the want to be come a surrogate, has thought, prayed (depending on her beliefs) and researched all that is entailed with the process. 

In my own personal decision, it is something that I not only want to do, but I genuinely feel I NEED to. I'm supposed to do this. 

In the past days, maybe even weeks, I've had several conversations with people on this subject. I've had responses from one extreme to the other. I've found that these replies fall into three basic categories.

1.) Happy and Supportive. Thankfully, for my own sanity, 85% of the responses that I receive, fall into this category.  Usually they are at first surprised, but then are genuinely glad and supportive. 

• "Wow, I've always thought that would be so great to do. I'm so glad for you. I wish I thought I could do it!"

• "Really? That's pretty neat, and very nice."

• "Are you sure you could do that? I mean, I could never feel a baby move and grow inside me and be able to give it away."

• "What happens if something go wrong? Is it safe for you?"

• "I've learned not to question God. It was obviously his plan that these people not have children."

• "You know, they have a name for women that sell their bodies...."

2.) Hesitant. I really have no other idea of how to describe these ones. The 10% that reply are usually more concerned with how it will effect me.

3.) Negative. The remaining 5% fall into a category that really was the idea behind this post. I feel like I can safely say that at least three of that five percent are using medical or religious reasons. and the other two? Well honestly I'm not sure where their opinions stems from.

I really wish I was making those last two replies up. I'm not. Up to this point in my surrogacy journey, that has been the hardest part. The fact that those comments came from a person I respect and also a Church official, made it worse. 

There are people in your life that you EXPECT to be negative. It's just who they are, so it wouldn't have come as a surprise if it had of been one of them. Yet when you hear words like that come out of someone completely unexpected, it really throws you off course for a bit.

I'm not saying that I've let their opinions influence what I'm going to do, but it's still something that weighs heavy on your mind, creeping up when you least expect it, or even when your trying to AVOID thinking about it.

Although no one wants a negative response, in my own experience it has been easier to accept one of an admittedly personal opinion  rather than using, for example, Religion to back up your own views. If you don't like the idea of something, say that. If YOU feel it is morally wrong, say that. Do not say "the church, the group, the whatever-the-heck-else" feels like this, and therefore, I have done absolutely no research and follow blindly."

SURROGACY IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. Plain and simple. It's not for all to condone and accept, and it's not for all to discourage. It's research, it's praying, it's knowing and it's keeping informed. Not all childless couples will turn to surrogacy, the same that they will not all accept being barren or adopting children. Not all women will become carriers. Not all people will agree with it.

If you wish for me to respect your choice. Respect mine. If you wish for me to respect your opinion, respect mine. And finally, if you wish for me to even remotely consider/ponder your perspective, be dang sure that you have formed your own opinion and not mimicked someone else's. 

The following was taken from a article by Stanford:

"The ethical debate on surrogacy has often looked to religious roots and cultural backgrounds in search of an answer.  One of the first ancient references to infertility occurs in Genesis, when Jacob’s wife, like many of her Biblical peers, was unable to bear a child.  After praying to God and begging her husband, she sends Jacob “unto” her maid and then adopts the resulting child as her own.  Sara did likewise, sending Abraham to her maid Hagar, saying, “I shall obtain children by her.” (Full article may be found HERE) 

Denomination vs Surrogacy

In the LDS (Mormon) Handbook, it says: 

21.4.16

Surrogate Motherhood The Church strongly discourages surrogate motherhood.

The Catholic Church:

"...articulated most fully in the Church's 1987 statement by the Vatican Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith entitled "Instruction on Respect for Human Life in Its Origin and on the Dignity of Procreation" (the Latin title is Donum Vitae, and it can be found at ("http://www.scribd.com/doc/35998853/Vatican-Document-Donum-Vitae-A-Summary").

In that letter, the Church spoke of homologous forms of assisted reproduction in which sperm and egg come from the married couple; and heterologous forms of assisted reproduction in which some third party is brought into the process of conception, gestation, and birth. Most homologous forms of assisted reproduction divorce procreation from sexual union of the man and woman; and all heterologous forms (such as surrogacy) do. As a result, neither is acceptable from within official Catholic teaching." (Entire article found here )

The Jewish Beliefs:

In Jewish law, a childless couple falls within the category of personal suffering and there exists a clear obligation to assist them in every permissible way, as long as no one is harmed in the process.

The Eastern Orthodox Church 

supports medical and surgical treatment of infertility, and 

The Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Episcopal, United Church of Christ, Christian Science, Jehovah’s Witness, and Mennonite religions all have liberal attitudes toward infertility treatments.  

Islamic law encourages attempts to cure infertility, but only to the extent that IVF technologies involve the husband and wife.   

Hindu perspective 

Hindus have never seriously debated assisted reproduction because of their belief in karma, which preordains the kind of life an individual would lead after birth. There is no conflict between Hinduism and assisted reproduction, which is generally accepted as a form of treatment and not an infringement on religious beliefs. 

(articles and reference notes to the previous 5 can be found by clicking here 

Guest post- Difference

Thank you to Sarah @ All Things New for providing today's guest post.

This post can also be found at http://www.anewbeginningtolifeandlove.blogspot.com/2012/05/difference.html

Difference

Last night my ex came over to visit with Ms. M; I think due to his schedule change this next cycle and not having her as much he has just been bummed out.  He was over for an extended amount of time and before he had come over I explained numerous times that daddy was coming to play but she was staying at my house still.  She seemed to grasp what I was saying but when it came down to it she was sad and wanted to go home with my ex.  I told her that he had work tomorrow and that she needed to stay with mommy.  My ex didn't once pipe in until he was walking out the door that he had to work.  She was just upset and got really upset with him because she didn't really get why she couldn't go home with him.

I thought that after he had left that it would be a nightmare trying to get her wrestled to bed; it really wasn't that bad though.  My brother, S and Ms. M share a room right now and it helped.  To be honest, it was a breeze!  Normally when these kind of things happen she whines that she wants to sleep in my bed and I usually cave and let her because it breaks my heart that she is so upset.  She still tried the let me sleep with mama line but when I told her that she needed to sleep in her bed she was okay.  She and my brother made faces at each other and the transition of my ex leaving went so much more smooth then it has in the past.  It was a blessing having my brother living with me!  There weren't tears with my ex leaving like there would have been in the past.  It kind of gave me a glimpse of what it would be like to have a male figure in the house again.

My brother has been a huge help with Ms. M in little ways and this was definitely a huge help.  I know I can trust my brother with Ms. M and not worried that she is going to be neglected or treated badly.  He'll play with her and let her play with his guitar even though he is probably having a heart attack that it will fall over and break.  He will roar with her and play toys with her.  These are things that didn't happen with her dad til after I filed for divorce.  I am grateful for my brother and his willingness to spend time with his niece and be there for us!

Guest Post- Baby Sign Language

Baby Sign Language across the ages

Just because it is called “baby” sign language doesn’t mean our little ones have to outgrown it when they are giving up the binky and blankie. Many parents have used a handful of basic BSL signs when their children are between six months to about two years of age, in order to get their point across while allowing babies to also express their opinions. However, it can be taught years longer and the vocabulary stretched even further!

An easy way to extend the length of time that baby signs is by allowing the generations to teach one another. Your ‘baby’ is soon a child and teenager, but he or she can still practice their sign language by helping mommy and daddy teach the newest addition to the family. Incorporate games when possible and then teaching becomes bonding activity and one that is far more fun than work. You can include visual queues such as baby signing flashcards or you can simply use the sign contextually

Incorporating BSL into homeschool curriculum is an excellent educational approach because then the language development and vocabulary benefits are extending right into the other academics. If you are not homeschooling your children there are still plenty of teaching opportunities, such as while reviewing homework or signing during evening storytime.

Baby sign language isn’t just for the classroom and home. BSL it is best taught in context so getting out into the world while teaching and practicing signs is important. It can be as simple as a trip to the grocery store’s produce section to review your vegetable and fruit signs. Or consider planning a trip to the zoo after you’ve taught the animal signs so your child can practice and apply the signs in that environment.

There are plenty of ways to keep the signs growing in number and complexity beyond those essential few, and plenty of opportunities to use signs long after the pre-verbal baby stage is through.

Visit www.babysignlanguage.com to learn more about sign language for babies

Monday is a beautiful day for a guest post- ask a surrogate

I am so happy and proud to present a special guest poster today.  Tasha is a surrogate. I have asked her some questions so that you can get to know her. I tried to ask questions that most people want to know about surrogates. When you are done reading the interview, you can visit Tasha at: http://www.deliveringmiracles.blogspot.com/.

1- Why did you choose to become a surrogate?


I chose to become a surrogate because it's something I've always wanted to do; I had this desire even before I had my own children. After going through 4 pregnancies and deliveries of my own with relative ease, I decided that it was time to share that blessing with another family. My family is complete now and I am overjoyed at the thought of helping another cople complete their own family.


2- How long have you been a surrogate?

I began my journey in March 2010 when I applied with a wonderful agency. I was matched rather quickly and here I am, 17 weeks pregnant with twins for a terrific couple!

3- Did you go through an agency?

Yes, after talking with a few couples independently, I decided that an agency would be best considering I am a first-time surrogate.


4- Where are you in your journey? (looking, matched, pregnant, etc.)

As of today, I am 17 weeks with healthy twins.

5- How did you choose your intended parents? What did you like the most about them?

I really don't feel like I chose them, rather that they chose me. It's hard to be drawn to people on paper, but after I spoke with them and saw photos of their life, I had a real heart tug for them.

6- Do you live close to your IP's?

My IP's and I live quite far apart; a 2.5hr plane ride away. They are in NY while I am in TN.

7- Do you expect to keep in contact after the birth? If so, through what means and how often?


I hope to keep in contact them with; IM and I discussed this in the beginning and we both decided to see how we feel after we go through this together. I would like to keep in touch of course, but I know the demands of life and babies can keep a family very busy. And honestly, if they choose not to keep in contact with me (and I can't imagine they would do that actually), then I would respect that decision and know that they need to do what they think is best for their family.


8- Do you have any concerns? For now or after the baby is born?

I don't really have any concerns at this time. Maybye I won't ever have any at all. I've always known this is what I wanted to do someday, and up to this point, it has all gone almost perfectly.

9- What do you want to tell others about surrogacy?

I guess I'd like to ask others to truly research surrogacy before they form any opinions about the surrogates or about the couples seeking surrogacy. Surrogacy is not driven by financial motivation or a selfish a desire carry children -- it is very simply driven by selfless love.

10- Will you do it again?

I am saving that decision for the time being. I'd like to see how I feel after my current journey is complete.


Thank you Tasha! I wish you the best in your journey. I'm sure your IP's are happy to have found such a wonderful woman.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
surrogacy, surrogate interview, guest blogger, surrogate

Guest Blogger Wanted: Apply Within

Looking for some guest bloggers. I'd really like to find a surrogate or intended parent, but also looking for bloggers in general.

Let me know if you're interested.

thanks,

Mormon Surrogate

Attention Please: Guest Post By One Cluttered Brain

This is my 1st guest poster. Take it away OCB-



It is FRIDAY! YAY! And do you know what that means? I better start writing for Mormon Surrogate. *cough,cough* She asked me to guest post like 2 weeks ago is it now? *sigh* I hope this post makes up for my procrastination and crazy busy LIFE I've been leading lately! :)




I'm sitting here eating a ice-cream sandwich pop-tart and browsing Facebook and Twitter when I learned a very important fact. I need to start WRITING. I kinda had a deadline to guest post on this FABULOUS blog that you are reading right now. And when am I getting it done? Just now, as we speak. I have a few tips for you on blogging and twittering, and what NOT to do, what to do...and so forth.



Are you following me thus far?



Good. We can begin. *AHEM*



* Blogging. Blog only when you feel like it. Because if blogging becomes a chore that you are not gonna want to do it very often. (So what does that say about me and my blogging habits? I just posted 24 blog posts in 24 hours for #Blogapalooza event Aug 17th and Aug 18th.) I got part of my blog turn into a book. Cool? I think it is.





* Twitter. Mention your blog posts when you update. Mention the cool peeps that you follow. Strike up conversation with the ultra COOL peeps on Twitter. Tweet out your cool giveaways that you are hosting on your blog. Log on at least once or twice a day on Twitter to see what is going on. NEVER, EVER just update Twitter with what you just ate all the time. That gets old real fast.



That sums up about what I do know. LOL.

But wait, Cluttered Brain you might say, That's it. This is all you are gonna post on this fabulous blog?



You WANT more?

I just can't please everybody now can I?

Perhaps I should share a video I just made?

I mean, videos are THE BEST WAY in my opinion, to get people's attention. And I happen to think I make some awesome videos.

So here is goes. :)

Enjoy!





Once you get really good with blogging you might want to try vlogging! It is wonderful and FUN and allows you to make so many wonderful connections!

This is all i have for you. :)

If you want to read MORE about me, head on over One Cluttered Brain. (http://oneclutteredbrain.blogspot.com)

Come meet me over at Parenting for Dummies Place *please*

Ok, so I stumbled upon this cool lady somewhere between SITS and another blogger friend of a friend sort of thing. She is rockin' awesome! Her blog is Parenting By Dummies.  I'm sure we've all felt like a dummy parent at some point.  Well she has guest bloggers on what she calls "Make new (i)friends Monday(s)" She hosts the guest blogger AND writes them a poem. She kind of did it just playing around and got really good at it!

Guess who's the guest blogger *ifriend* for Today- Monday January 25, 2010? Give up?

It's little old ME! And she did an awsome job. Please check it all out *HERE*.

Thanks!  Have an awesome MONDAY!