Friday, September 25, 2009

Why and How I became a Surrogate

My first introduction to Surrogacy was around 2002. My husband was on deployment and I was living in West Jordan, Utah. I read a magazine article about surrogacy and I fell in love with the idea. It really stood out to me. It just seemed like such an amazing thing to go through. It seemed like such a wonderful thing to do for someone else and I couldn't believe that on top of it all you could get compensated. I had 2 children at the time and had easy pregnancies (aside from the 6 months of morning sickness) and no problem with deliveries. I thought that it would be a great opportunity to help someone have a baby and be able to stay at home with my children and help our family as well. I mentioned the idea to my husband through phone and e-mail. It was not the time for us. He did not feel comfortable with me carrying someone else's baby. Well I certainly wasn't going to do it without his support. Little did I know it was illegal in Utah at that time anyway. We also didn't really know all the facts.

So I didn't think much about it after that. I should mention though, our last child was born in January, 2004. John had a vasectomy that summer. I didn't really feel like I was done having kids though. I was sad that I wouldn't be able to experience a pregnancy again.

In 2005, I was still in West Jordan and John (my husband) was in San Diego. We were temporarily living apart. He was on a ship and I hardly saw him and I wanted the kids to have some stability and be in a good Utah school. Anyway, John was always going and donating blood for his favorite radio station. I thought it might be cool if he could make a little extra money while donating. So I did an internet search for "donating blood for money".

As you can imagine with the internet, it came up with donating all kinds of stuff for money. I came across egg donations and the idea struck me as something I could do. We were getting ready to move to San Diego to spend a year with John since he was going to be on shore duty. I started researching egg donations and agencies in San Diego. I found someone who helped me with a lot of information. She then asked me if I had ever considered being a surrogate. We talked a little about that and she explained that I would only be carrying their baby, that I would not be related to the child at all. I'm not sure if that's something we realized before. She told me that being a surrogate was much more rewarding (in many ways) than being an egg donor.

I decided I would approach my husband one more time with the idea. He hesitated at first but then he could hear the passion in my voice and could tell this was something I really wanted to do. He said "because you've supported me in everything I've done, I can support you in this."

Also at the time I had family that was struggling with infertility. I thought of them and how great it would be to be able to help them, to see them achieve their dreams as parents. They have since adopted 2 beautiful children.

I couldn't wait to move to San Diego and get started. I did tons of online research about surrogacy and found wonderful online communities and support. I had some issues with the 1st agency, (they became pushy and dishonest) so after awhile I started looking for another agency to work with. I found Angelmatcher and was matched right away. Things moved fairly quickly. Before long I was taking shots/hormones and getting ready for an embryo transfer. I got pregnant on the first try.

It's not all so simple though. You have to go through some throrough mental and physical screening to be a surrogate. With surrogacy, I feel I have found my purpose in this life. It's such an amazing experience to be a helper to God in bringing down the babies. It's been a very spiritual, uplfiting experience for me.

My first surrogacy resulted in a darling girl born August 1, 2006. My 2nd surrogacy sadly ended in miscarriage in July 2007. I was only about 9 weeks along. My 3rd surrogacy resulted in adorable twin boys born @ 33 weeks, April 15, 2009.

I was recently asked about the appeal of surrogacy. I'm assuming since I was talking about how it can have it's complications and issues. (especially in the beginning, going through all the steps to even get matched, getting insurance in place, etc. )

My reply:
The appeal vs. all the issues/complications in the process? It's one of those things that is worth going through. It's not easy, or else everyone would be doing it. But for all we go through, it's so worth it. If it was easy, I think it would be taken for granted. It's a journey that you want to see through to the end. The end result is amazing, a miracle even. It's extremely uplifting. It's such a positive thing in such a negative world. It fills me with a taste of heaven within and that feeling will last for years to come. It's a way to help others and yet you get so much in return. For me, I feel it's my calling in life, where I belong in this world. It's who I am. It's something I felt a strong passion for and I'm so glad it's been a part of my life.


  1. I am so excited for you guys! I had no idea that you would be getting to the temple so soon! How wonderful! We would love to be there!

  2. Thanks Shannon. Well now all I have to do is get the appoinment set up.


Thank you for your comments! I'll try to return the favor.