I should probably break this in to parts, because this will be one heckuva long post. Funny it didn't say I spelled heckuva wrong lol.
Note: No sugar coating here, we do not live in a perfect world, even as we head to the temple.
PART 1:
We were all excited to start our day. It felt like my wedding day. I got myself and the girls in the shower. We needed enough time to curl all the girls’ hair, including myself. Tristan and I were done with our showers and Jessica was taking her sweet time. I told her it was time to get out so John (daddy) would have enough hot water for his shower. Too late.
That’s how our day began, with John upset. He was upset that I would let the girls shower in our bathroom and that because they play around in there, they used all the hot water. Well obviously I didn’t do it on purpose and I let him know I had told her to get out and didn’t realize it was too late.
I hate that feeling, when he’s mad at me. I’m more patient and understanding and just kind of go with the flow. Things happen, things go wrong, and it doesn’t help to be upset over it. Nothing can be done at the moment, let it go. But he didn’t let it go. I gave him a hug, told him I was sorry, but I could feel his resentment.
He just went on about how I shouldn’t have let them shower in there, etc. I had done all I could and I had to finish getting myself and the girls ready.
Because I had to rent something at the temple on Friday, I was short an item on Saturday, and there were no rental facilities at the Oquirrh Mountain temple, which is where we were headed. We thought of going into town a bit early to pick up the item along with some extra garments. But I felt like we just didn’t have the time.
I called my mom to see if she could help out. She was willing to help. She then called me back a few minutes later and told me she would pick up the item for me, but for that day she was going to let me wear my Grandma’s item. I was excited. My grandma died when I was 5. She then said, that would be my “something old”, she would let me borrow a bracelet for the “something borrowed”, I had my temple dress and earrings as my “something new”, all I needed was “something blue”. I thought maybe I could find a blue frog in my collection and put it in my temple dress pocket.
John overheard my idea. He said, “I know what you could wear for your “something blue”, the earrings/jewelry set I got you.” He bought a beautiful sapphire/diamond set with earrings, a ring and a pendant in Bahrain on his 1st deployment. They were fairly elaborate and I hadn’t really had any occasion where I felt it was appropriate to wear them. I said “good idea” and looked for the box. I decided I would wear the ring. I felt it would be subtle. I didn’t think the earrings would be appropriate for the temple. I was excited as it felt more and more like a wedding day.
We were finally ready to go and were leaving at a good time. I tried to remember everything. I needed the garment bag with my dress and Tristan’s dress, the duffel bag with my slip, stockings, slippers, Jessica’s dress, slip and my other temple items. I also needed my purse and camera bag. I had it all together but my purse. So I went to get it.
We all piled into the car and were on our way. Four houses away Jessica says, “Mom did you get my temple dress?” Me- “Um no, I forgot it.” So John turns the car around and we head back. I had set down the duffel bag when I was getting my purse. Ok, anything else? I think we’re good to go.
This time we got about 8-9 houses away. I asked John, “Did you bring your phone?” He said, “yeah why? Where’s yours?” “I left it at home.” Back we go. I told John it might be easier if he calls my phone so I can find it right away. So I get out of the car and John calls me back and says, here. He hands me his phone. Ok I guess he’s going to let me call my phone with his phone. So I start dialing. Something seems different. Well John and I have the same phone, only he somehow lost the battery cover. Well this phone had the battery cover. It was my phone.
Ok, then , we’re good to go. So, is there ANYTHING else we need to get? John says something and then adds, “Actually, I need to get my shoes.” We laughed a bit. I think we are really ready to go now.
We were on our way. It was an odd mood. There was still something between John and I. He wasn’t necessarily being rude to me, but there was a slight attitude and contention with him. Awful feeling. Not the feeling I wanted on the way to the temple with our family. I wanted a certain atmosphere and feeling as we headed there. The girls started singing church songs. I helped them a little. After a few minutes John turned on the radio. This was not how I imagined it. The songs he was listening to was not creating the mood I wanted. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t choosing to have a better attitude or that he was against helping me create the right atmosphere. I know him all too well and knew he was still irritated with me. I tried not to let it bring me down.
We arrived at the temple and got all our things together. We went to get Jessica out of the car and John asked where her shoes were. She replied, “I don’t need shoes at the temple.” I had told her she wouldn’t have to wear shoes in the temple, but to grab her slip ons to wear in the meantime. I guess all she heard was, “You don’t have to wear shoes.”
Ok, well we had to get through this. I could tell John was getting irritated. He actually said something rude in the temple parking lot.. I'm thinkihng "Are you kidding me?" I said, "yeah that's brilliant behavior here in the temple parking lot. I just told Jessie I’d have to carry her to the temple. I remembered what it felt to be a single parent. It was not a good feeling, but I had to be strong and not let this ruin our day.
We walked towards the temple and it was beautiful and there was a lovely water fountain out front. Honestly though it was hard to focus on the beauty, I tried, but it was eating at me that I was not feeling much love or respect from my husband. I was THIS close to tears. On the way up the steps, Sariah called to ask what time they needed to be there. They were going to be guests, so I told her guests needed to be there at 3:30. It was about 2:50. She said, “Ok see you soon.” .
We got closer to the temple and saw my mom and John’s mom. I thought we should take a quick family picture in front of the temple by the fountain. It was a little bit chilly. We had John’s mom take the pictures and then we were ready to enter the temple. This was it, our family temple day.
We walked through the temple doors and didn’t know where to go exactly. We were met by a temple worker who told us our family could go left into a waiting room while one of us officially checked in. My mom told John to go check us in, but I had all the recommends and paperwork, so I walked over with him. We were then met by a few other temple workers who were overly helpful. Too many people were trying to help us and I was feeling overwhelmed. They were trying to figure out who was in charge of us for the day. When they finally figured out what was going on and that the kids were also to be sealed to us, a lady came to take the kids. I got the girls’ dresses out and they were taken upstairs. I was having some anxiety since too much was going on at once. John and I were taken to get some paperwork finished.
I could still feel John's bad mood and I didn't know what to do. We were asked if we had escorts for the day. Yes, my mom and Jake. Ok, are they here now? Yes, my mom is right here and Jake will be here at 3:30. They made it sound like Jake needed to be here NOW. Ok so I guess we'll have to try calling Jake and Sariah and see if they could get there as soon as possible. John said something rude about well I guess his escort wasn't going to be there until 5:00, so we were screwed. (something to that effect) I could NOT believe he was acting like this INSIDE the temple. I said, "What are you talking about? You obviously didn't listen to me, they'll be here at 3:30 not 5:00. I looked at our temple matron and wanted to cry.
I honestly don't remember exactly what happened next, but I think that's when we went to finish paperwork. We were asked a series of questions and for some reason I think the lady thought John had been sealed before. She then asked, "When did you receive your endowments?" John said, "Yesterday." She said, "oh well I guess that doesn't give you much time to have been sealed to someone else now does it?" A little chuckle and some tension relief there. That's all I remember about that.
Someone came and took John away to get ready and I believe he mouthed "See you later" I had a hard time looking at him.
Oh, hun, I so feel for you! Satan was doing everything in his power to keep you from wanting to be sealed that day, wasn't he? This may sound awful but I am usually the uptight one and Eldon is laid back. I am always getting upset over little things while he is go with the flow. Now having read this I realize it is often me bringing that kind of spirit as we go to church or whatever. So thanks for showing it to me from the other perspective. And remind me to tell you about how mad I was at Eldon and crying right after we were sealed!
ReplyDeleteYou're so sweet. Yes, he was, the little buggar. I know he doesn't mean to be that way (John not Satan lol) or realize how it affects everyone around him. It's just how he is. Actually he's a lot better than he used to be. He's working on it. It does help to have another perspective sometimes. I want to hear it all....
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