How do you make babies?

How do you make babies?
Simple, one baby step at a time. Ha ha ha. Especially when you're dealing with surrogacy.
There are lots of baby steps involved and they are all exciting and important.

There are multiple baby steps within the contract phase which is where we are now.
I was excited this morning because we were one step closer to signing contracts.
Then I started my period which is one of the next steps. Exciting little things.
I didn't expect to start my period for another week or two. It's been a little off kilter lately. 
  
The clinic had calculated that my next period would start today, January 28th. That was too precise. I thought yeah, good luck with that. That would be 28 days since my last period which was January 1st. My period is usually more like every 30 days or so when things aren't out of whack.

And yet somehow we're right on target. Which means a fast track to our embryo transfer. *hopefully*

The clinic started me on Estrace (Estradiol) and Baby Aspirin today. I started Prenatal Vitamins a few weeks ago. I think I mentioned that this time around we are doing a no shot protocol. It is so weird for me to do this without shots. But I'm not complaining.
:)

I am super excited and full of happy, positive energy.
The only hold up is finalizing the contract. We are this close, but there are a few loose ends.
I am praying and keeping fingers crossed that everything keeps falling into place.

IF all goes well and quickly with contracts we are looking at February 18 as our earliest possible transfer date. We're talking just a few weeks. Oh my gosh! 

I have had lots of good signs lately from everything happening today to an awesome positive pregnancy dream the other night.
Wish us luck to get to the next baby step. 

Fun with Unemployment

Does this make sense to you?

 John was able to get unemployment while going to school and didn't have to put in contacts. (he had no work search requirements) He was approved to receive unemployment while attending school full-time. And we were grateful, because this helped us stay in our home!

Then he got a part time job and still didn't have to put in contacts.

Now he has a full time job. He still qualifies for what is left of unemployment, yet he has to put in 4 contacts a week as his job search requirement. So then, if he only gets 15 hours one week, he can get unemployment, but ONLY if he looks for another job? He should be getting 34-40 hours/week. It is nice to know that if he doesn't, he can get unemployment, but if you HAVE a job, why would you look for another job just to get unemployment? OR why would you look for another job just because you got shorted on hours one week? How do people screw the system when it's so hard to do it the right way?

They denied him benefits during his transition period of quitting one job and starting another. It was going from Christmas week to New Years week. He worked until December 28th and started the New job January 2nd. The denial was basically a computer glitch. It asked for the old job's address and had a list to choose from and then told us the one we chose was invalid. Therefore we couldn't proceed, therefore he was denied because he didn't provide information.

So then, the next week with New Years... no one worked on New Years. The new job was with a new company and hadn't quite been up and running yet. So there wasn't much do to. They found a few things for John to do and he got maybe 15 hours or so that week. Again, keep in mind that one of those days was a holiday! Well, when he filed for unemployment that week he was denied. We found out it was because he didn't put in his 4 contacts. He only put in the one, because he had JUST started a job.

The guy called to talk to John and was rude to him. He didn't understand why he didn't work 40 hours that week! Well obviously, this guy works for the state and his hours don't fluctuate like the rest of the world. I'm sure that guy didn't get 40 hours that week, with New Years being a holiday. P.S. He was supposed to call this guy to clear up the issue and he was told to call him the next day which was a Friday between 9 AM-4 PM. He called around 10:00 only to get a voice mail saying the guy isn't in on Fridays. So, how is this guy getting 40 hours a week? He should put in 4 contacts!!!  LOL.

Here's the fun part, John's new job gets paid every 2 weeks. Without unemployment, we went 2 weeks without any sort of income. That's really fun to do right after Christmas. John did get his last check with his old job during that time. It was for $80.

I was bound and determined to fight both denials. We appealed and we were all ready to go. Then the guy calls and is wanting to try to get it cleared up so it doesn't have to go to appeals. Hmmm, interesting. He calls again a few days later and says John's case "fell through the cracks". It is finally getting fixed and he will get the unemployment for both weeks. Yay! Persistence people. If you feel that something isn't right, do all you can to try and get it fixed! We sent messages, wrote letters, called, and then appealed.

I still don't understand though why he didn't need to put in 4 contacts when he didn't have a job or when he had a small part time job, but he needs to with a full time job. Such a headache!!!

Guest Blogger/Post Kate from A Girl For All Time

Top 10 Tips Every Parent Should Follow

As parents, it is only natural that we all want to do a fantastic job of raising our children.  It takes great courage to be a parent, given the level of commitment and responsibility that is required of us.

We looked at ten top tips that won’t do the job for you, but will give you the confidence and the conviction to be the best parent you can be.

1. Relax

There isn’t a ‘right’ way to be a parent, so stop fretting about whether or not you are doing the ‘right’ thing. What works for some parents and children might not for others. Be confident that whatever works for you is the best thing to do.

2. Appreciate Play

You go to work every day, and probably take great pride in it. The time your children spend playing with their favourite dolls, for example, is their equivalent. Take the time to appreciate what they do, and spend time with them as they do it to aid social and emotional development.

3. Communicate

Speak, listen, and engage in non-verbal communication as much as possible. Smiles, hugs, waves, and games of ‘peek-a-boo’ are all great ways to ‘speak without speaking.’

4. Build Good Habits

Children are eager when they are young, so take the time at an early stage to build good habits, whether this is in the food they eat, the way they brush their teeth, or reading for 30 minutes before bed.

5. Encourage Questions

Children are curious by nature, and as a parent you can encourage this by answering all of their questions and helping them to build their understanding of the world around them.

6. Learn About Children

Understand how youngsters develop, why they do certain things, or what they need in order to flourish. Above all, recognise that your child is unique, and you know them better than anyone, or any book, ever will.

7. Promote Individuality

It is easy for parents to try and lead their children a particular route, especially when it comes to hobbies and interests. Support your child’s individuality, and encourage them to explore avenues even if they aren’t the ones you would ordinarily promote yourself.

8. Make Time for Family Activities

Modern life is busier than ever, and as such families can often resemble ships passing in the night, with parents coming and going to work and children at school or spending time with friends. Ensure there is a fixed period of each day or week where you commit to spending time together.

9. Follow Home Rules

It can be difficult to establish good behaviour patterns and rules if you have children of varying ages, however teenagers will have to be supportive of any initiatives you have in place in order to manage younger ones, for example an earlier bedtime.

10. Make Time for Yourself

Yes, parenting is a 24/7 job, but there are those precious moments when you can make time for yourself. Whether it is listening to music, catching up on sleep, or enjoying a coffee in town, even the small things will help to refresh and re-energise you.

A Girl For All Time are unique doll makers in the UK and US that provide quality collectible dolls for enthusiasts and collectors.

-------

Kate

Gestational and Traditional Surrogacy and a book review

Did you know that there are different kinds of surrogates. I mean beside good ones and bad ones. Ha! But seriously, there are Gestational Surrogates (GS) and Traditional Surrogates (TS). What the heck is the difference?

Well, when surrogacy was first around I believe most if not all surrogates were Traditional Surrogates. The surrogate would use her own eggs combined with sperm from the Intended Father to produce a baby for the couple to raise as their own. Technically the child was in part their own, thanks to the fathers contribution, but the child was also genetically related to the Surrogate. There are still Traditional Surrogates today. Sometimes an infertile couple needs an egg donor AND a surrogate. A Traditional Surrogate acts as both. I think it is very admirable, but I don't think it is for everybody.

So then, what is a Gestational Surrogate? Well that would be surrogates like me. I have carried babies for infertile couples using their embryos. Sometimes the embryo was made up of the mother and father's genetics, sometimes an egg donor was involved. Either way, I was only a carrier for the baby(s). I was in no way genetically tied to or related to the baby(s). I was just the stork. I was an organ donor, donating my uterus, nothing else.

When I went to my medical screening awhile back (for my current surrogacy journey), I took some things to keep me busy on the plane and at the airport. Among those things was a book titled My Egg, My Womb, Your Baby! by Dawn Marmorstein. I was so excited to read a book about surrogacy while I was starting another surrogacy of my own.



Dawn has been a Traditional Surrogate three times. I was very curious to read how different her story would be compared to my own surrogacy experiences. In some ways, it was very different, but the feelings involved were very much the same. It all comes down to helping couples become parents.

"Dawn enjoyed being pregnant so much when she carried her own children that she decided she wanted to help others who were unable to create their own family. After doing some research, Dawn decided that she wanted to become a Traditional Surrogate mother -- both egg donor and surrogate mother -- who would be genetically related to the surrobaby she carried who ultimately destined to be given to another family. while modernly, most surrogacies are gestational surrogacies, where there is a separate egg donor who provides the egg for the carrying surrogate mother, Dawn's journey with traditional surrogacy created three babies related to her, each with her knowledge and consent that two would given to two separate same sex recipients, and one would go to a traditionally married couple.

I thought to myself," I could carry someone else's baby!"  

It did not take me long to read the book. I got caught up in each experience she wrote about. It was so interesting to read all the similarities as well as the differences between traditional and gestational surrogacy. I thought it was really neat that Dawn and I had a lot in common. We both stumbled upon surrogacy on the internet, we both got a self-esteem boost and felt our sexiest when pregnant. We are both on our 4th surrogacy journeys.

She had plenty of ups and downs between different hospitals and agencies. At one point she was accused of having an affair with the baby's father. Dawn eventually decided to start up her own agency, Los Angeles Surrogacy Center.

Dawn's writing is real and raw. It is a wonderful look inside the surrogacy world. You should definitely read this book. You will not want to put it down.

Learn more about Dawn, her agency and her book below.

Buy My Egg, My Womb, Your Baby! on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1479121193/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_6SRMqb0RKGAN5

On Smashwords:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/213653

Facebook Pages:
http://www.facebook.com/myeggmywombyourbaby

http://www.facebook.com/lasurrocenter

Dawn's website:
http://www.dawnmarmorstein.com/

Dawn's Surrogacy Blog:
http://surrobaby4.blogspot.com/

*Disclaimer- Dawn and I exchanged books about surrogacy for review. Read her review about my book here: http://www.mommylovestalking.com/2012/10/book-review-once-upon-surrogate-storks.html

Sorry for any hurt feelings!

Every now and then I say something on my blog that might end up in hurt feelings.  (as far as I know, it's only happened twice)

That is never my intention.. to hurt feelings or to call someone out on something. I usually take my time with every post and read it over multiple times before posting.

Sometimes I need a place to vent and this where I go.

Sometimes I forget that my blog is linked to Facebook.

I am usually very careful about what I say and how I say it, but sometimes things pile on and it's all too much at once.

Sometimes I say things that could be taken the wrong way.

Sometimes I show my human side. Sometimes I make mistakes.

I sincerely apologize for any hurt feelings!

P.S. This is not intended to substitute as an individual apology. That is private, but I wanted to offer a public apology.