Thanksgiving Thankful Vlog

A Thankful Thanksgiving Vlog for you!

I'm kinda shy and quiet sometimes. I had a heckuva time uploading this, but hooray for actually posting it ON Thanksgiving! Better late than never.

I forgot to mention I am thankful for music! It brings me so much joy.

Especially the Beatles.

Anyone up for sending me a video reply of what you're thankful for?

#Surrogacy Interview Last Weekend

I am always flattered when asked to do an interview about surrogacy. I don't accept all offers though. I am pretty picky with who I'll talk to and what their focus is.

No matter what though, I like to do what I can to shine a positive light on surrogacy, to share an honest, positive perspective. I felt that this was one of those opportunities.

Liz actually flew in from New York to interview me in person last weekend. I was a bit more nervous than usual because this was my first in person interview. I decided I wasn't even going to "study" or rehearse. I was just going to be my open and honest self. (I'm always open and honest, but I usually like to prepare myself for the harder questions that might come up)

We met at Starbucks and I brought along my husband for support. (And quite honestly because I was meeting a stranger) My 16 year old son was also with us. I felt like I may as well involve my family since they are involved with the surrogacy journeys right along with me. I also wanted my girls to be there, because I figured the topic of my book might come up and they are my illustrators. I also wanted to give Liz a signed copy of my book and they usually sign as well.

My girls had spent the night with my mom, so she brought them a little after the interview had started. My husband and my mom both chimed in and had things to add. I think my husband may have said too much on some topics. It was nice to hear my mom being so supportive of surrogacy. (Not that I doubted her) I was happy to really see just how much my family supports me.

I think the interview went well. Liz was fun and easy to talk to. She asked a range of questions and has been reaching out to military wives who are surrogates. My first few journeys were as a Navy wife. My first surrobaby was born in a Navy Hospital. John got out of the Navy when I was barely pregnant with my Surrotwins.

For me personally, I think being a military wife in a way prepared me to be a surrogate. I knew plenty about sacrifice. I was stronger because I was a military wife. It made me a better person, a better version of myself and so did surrogacy. I think everything happens for a reason and I think one thing has certainly led to another in my life.

To read Liz's post about the interview, go here-
http://lizbziff.blogspot.com/2013/11/baby-steps.html

And learn more about Liz and her project here-
http://lizbziff.blogspot.com/

What happened after the 3rd transfer?

Hello. I have been MIA on here. It's just too darn easy to update on my FB blog page.

I apologize. I haven't updated on here what happened after the 3rd transfer with my awesome couple. I didn't even blog about the transfer itself which was amazing really. We had everything stacked in our favor. We even did acupuncture which was awesome and helped me obtain a super thick, comfy cozy uterus. I did the whole pineapple thing before and after. Colored my hair purple and green for good luck, painted my nails to match, made us all new t-shirts, etc.  I felt extra close to my couple the 3rd round and we all felt really good about it. Only 1 of the 2 remaining embryos survived the thaw.

I of course took a "few" pregnancy tests at home which were all positive.

The beta was positive but low, so we played that game for a little bit.

I figured I'd get raw and real and Vlog about what happened.

P.S. I wish nothing but the best for them and can only imagine how they are feeling. My heart aches for them.

NSR: I need to get back to writing, creating

NSR: (non surrogacy related)

I need a live in housekeeper/cook. I don't have a room for you and I can barely pay you, but I need you nonetheless. 😉

My creativity is sitting on a shelf creating dust. I have a book to publish, and working on 3 more. I have more surrogacy design ideas too. (I guess this is slightly surrogacy related- ha! Plus most of my books are about surrogacy. Lol.)

But there are too many "important" things to do each day:

Laundry, dishes, more laundry, put away the laundry and the dishes, preparing meals, cleaning up after meals. More dishes. Cleaning, vacuuming, dusting. Mom duties, wife duties. My kids are older, yet I call it a good day to shower and get a few things checked off my list, mainly dishes, laundry and dinner. The kids are helping out more thanks to Chore Monster. (Google it, get the app, it's awesome!)  I feel guilty to set aside time to write, to create. (Yet I find time for FB, etc. on my phone here and there 😞) 

I'm not very good at organizing or time management. I'm not a morning person and I spend 3 hours each morning getting kids up and off to school. They all leave one hour apart. It sucks!!  I might be able to squeeze in some time there while my more responsible child gets ready. I have to poke and prod the other 2. My hubby has hardly any time off and gets home late. So when he gets home, it's dinner and time together. I spent plenty of time without him when he was in the Navy. I'm proud to say I enjoy spending time with my husband.

I've even neglected my blog. But here I am, so I guess there's hope for me yet!

😉

How do surrogates get pregnant?

It is always interesting to hear what people think about surrogacy. Most people have a different understanding of how surrogates get pregnant.

(This is my 3rd attempt at this blog post, the other two disappeared on my phone. They were brilliant, just so you know)

My most recent encounter-

Them: "So, will they extract all your eggs and replace them with the Intended Mom's eggs?"
Me: "No. They have embryos and they will transfer the embryos to my uterus."

Interesting thought though. Later I thought, "And what about the sperm? It takes more than eggs. What did they think they do with the sperm?"

I am not making fun of anyone's interpretation of the process. I find it fascinating because I never thought about it before I lived it. I wonder what I would have thought if someone had asked me before I learned about surrogacy and became a surrogate. Surrogacy is my life and I am here to help people understand it better.

What I don't like is when someone thinks that surrogates get pregnant "the old fashioned way". Nope, at least most of us don't. There are unfortunately some wackadoodles out there and TV and movies would like to think we do. There are Traditional Surrogates who use their own eggs AND carry the pregnancy. And I'm pretty sure in the old days, they did do it the old fashioned way. The absolute worst is when someone compares surrogacy to prostitution. Those people are purely ignorant!!

So then, how DO surrogates get pregnant?

I'm not an expert, but I have gone through 6 embryo transfers and I am preparing for a 7th. What I know is what I have experienced.

Gestational Surrogacy: Fresh  and Frozen Embryo Transfers

With gestational surrogacy, the surrogate is only a carrier, she does not contribute any genetic material.

 

The protocols vary, but for the most part, the surrogate will take a combination of medications, shots and/or suppositories to prepare her body and uterus for pregnancy. It is important to prepare the uterine lining for embryo implantation. If the Intended Mom is using her eggs, the surrogate and IM will usually take birth control pills to sync their periods before starting the other medications. If an egg donor is used, then the surrogate and egg donor will sync their cycles. Surrogates are monitored through ultrasounds and blood draws to make sure their body is reacting to the medications like they should. The eggs are retrieved as well as the sperm and embryos are created. The embryos "grow" for 3-5 days and hopefully get to the blastocyst stage before transferring. If the surrogate's uterine lining is nice and thick with no issues, the embryo(s) are transferred into her uterus through a catheter. Usually 1-3 embryos are transferred depending on the embryo quality. 

The surrogate is usually placed on bed rest for 24-72 hours. 

This varies by doctor/clinic. Some surrogates don't do any bed rest, some do light bed rest, others do strict bed rest. Approximately 2 weeks after the embryo transfer, the surrogate does a blood test (HCG/Beta) to see if she is pregnant. If she is, she will stay on medications/shots a little longer to sustain the pregnancy. If not, she will stop medications and if all parties agree, they will start over and try again. 

For a frozen transfer, the embryos are created the same and then frozen at day 3-5. The surrogate will not need to sync up with the IM or egg donor for a frozen cycle.Typically frozen transfers are faster in preparation. The embryos are thawed a day or two before the transfer. Not all embryos survive the thaw. Some people say frozen transfers have a higher success rate. Sometimes a fresh transfer is done, but there are leftover embryos which are frozen.

Traditional Surrogacy

I don't know a lot about the process, sorry!  The Intended Father's sperm is used to inseminate the surrogate. I don't believe shots are involved, but maybe a few medications. (?) Some surrogates inseminate at home with a simple turkey baster, but it is more common now to be inseminated at the Dr.'s office or fertility clinic. 

So, now you know how we really get pregnant. If you need more pictures and simpler terms about surrogacy , I have a book for that!  

:-)

Once Upon a Surrogate: The Stork's Helpers